Domestic Violence Counseling

[changing]

My Dear and Wonderful Lighter-

Right, right, and right again....as always Oh Smart One! I do have an address, but my lawyer has not confirmed it and I have signed a stipulation that I will not have him investigated, etc myself- my lawyer is getting out of pocket, has not given me a copy of the docs with Bagworm's signature. If Bag has not signed, I am going to act in accordance with the fact that nothing has been executed, and will let my lawyer know (he is being urposely obtuse with me, I feel)
The lawyer has entered into a new partnership and is out of touch now- If I take the steps that i am contemplating, and the address is wrong, we won't get the guns. I also want to alert Bagworm's former employers about the Work Comp fraud, get his tyhings cleared out, stopmpaying his insurance , etc as I m being drained dry-I am doing everything I can, have informed the lawyer politely, and will do so more firmly once I have a plan B (in case lawyer and I split I need another that I have vetted) for backup.

Thank You Precious Lighter- I will study all that you have said carefully.

Love and Best Wishes to You and Yours!!!!

xxooxx,

Changing

[changing]

I got a response from my lawyer. He says that Bagworm and his lawyer have refused to sign the stipulations and asked if I wanted a stay-away order- he didn't use formal language, so I will have to reply carefully.
I want a Protection Order which includes the removal of the guns. I must stick to this, with no more detours.
Tonight is another Domestic Violence group, so at least there has been a semblence of movement in my case since the last one!

Love,

Changing

[Certain Hope]

Dear Changing,

When it was necessary in my case, I went, myself, before a local judge and requested an order of protection.
I was accompanied by a representative of our small-town local domestic violence agency, which may have made a great difference... I dunno.

Gauging by your unsettled feelings about your own attorney, maybe you'd be best off to pursue this matter independently.
It just feels to me that the longer this goes on without an order in place, your chances of getting one may be decreasing?

Love to you and best wishes and prayers,
Carolyn

[changing]

Hi Hope-

Well, my attorney has said that he would pursue the order, and feels that we could get a "Stay Away" easily (whatever a stay away is- I want those guns taken!!) My major concern is the address for service- Bagworm has never given an address other than the Post Office Box, and if we don't get it right, there will be no proper service with the police taking the weapons. I want my lawyer to verify the address or untie my hands so that I can do it... If that is the case then I mayl also go to the court and just file myself as well, as you suggested.

Is your order permanent or for a specific period of time- I am debating what to do, but the law school wants an enforceable order ASAP, and so do I...what do you suggest?

Thank you for sharing your experience.

Love,

Changing

[Certain Hope]

Dear Changing,

I understand.

The temporary order of protection which I obtained required a court hearing three days subsequent.

Ex showed up to protest and made a total ass of himself before the judge.

If he'd possessed any guns at that time, I've no doubt she would have issued an order for the sheriff's dept. to confiscate those.

The fact that the bag-o-worms owns firearms may actually simplify your obtaining of a p.o.... if you went yourself without legal representation. But I guess you can't operate on your own accord now that you have a lawyer... quite the bind there.
I'm sorry it's so complicated... maybe you need another attorney? Or just can that one and file for your order... then start fresh?

Hoping for the very best here...
with love,
Carolyn

P.S.  Oops!  My p.o. was renewed at that 3rd day hearing for one year and then subsequently extended for another year... at which time I let it drop because I knew ex had exhausted his finances and filed for bankruptcy (which he did, by the way, in order to avoid having to pay all of my legal fees vis our divorce and the ridiculous contempt proceedings which he launched against me - oy vey).

My advice - if that lawyer of yours is not heeding you, fire his sorry butt and apply for your own order of protection asap.
You can hire another attorney as needed, afterward.

[changing]

Hi Hope-

Actually, I can apply for an order even though I have a lawyer according to my Domestic Violence counselor-I am just weighing the options, and not having an official home address for the Bagworm complicates matters, so my lawyer's cooperation would be helpful if I can obtain verification of the address through the attorney.
I guess I can start with a temporary as you mentioned, but ultimately I want a permanent protection order. As my husband quit his job in order to prevent his having to pay support, etc., he may be difficult to find with only a verified P.O. Box- but as you said , time is of the essence, so I need to try what I can!

Thank you Hope, and Happy New Year!!!!

love,

Changing

[Certain Hope]

Dear Changing,

There are investigative services, even online, where you can pay a fee to have them uncover a registered physical address to match a p.o. box. Not sure of the fees, but if you shop around... might be worth it, and possibly even cheaper than paying/waiting for the atty to do it. Good luck!!

Happy New Year to you, too : )

Love,
Carolyn

On Edit - here's one example, cost = $125.00     http://www.unlisted-etcetera.com/#po

and another - this one = $77.00   https://secure.bestpeoplesearch.com/c-POB,Service.aspx

[changing]

Thank You Hope My Friend-

I will get busy and do some Bagworm P.I.!

Love,

Changing

P.S.- One nagging thought- he may use the address here, as he does for so many things, which is why investigators and lawyers and creditors harrass me about him! But I may as well try,and at the very least will have that information!

Thank you again,

Changing

[lighter]

Dear Changing,





that one and file for your order... then start fresh?

I want to add that my second capable attorney told me that it's best if women go to get their own TPO's bc he doesnt' want it to be perceived as a legal meneuver isntigated by the attorney to gain some legal high ground. 

[changing]

Hi Lighter-

It sounds reasonable, however, without a proven home address (no Bagworm and his lawyer have not responded to the form interrogatories so we have no official address except for the P.O. Box, which is not a home address- I think this is being done for the purpose of Work Comp fraud)  there might not be any successful service, and the guns will not be seized. This has been my main concern all along- will do what I can.

Love,

Changing

[lighter]

Is Bagworm's attorney not able to recieve service as his agent of record?

My H instructed his attorney not be take service which he was penalzed for at a later time.... it's unusual and considered gameplaying by the courts.

[axa]

Changing,

I wish you continued strength and courage and pray that 2008 brings you the peace you deserve.

axa

[Certain Hope]

Thank You Hope My Friend-

I will get busy and do some Bagworm P.I.!

Love,

Changing

P.S.- One nagging thought- he may use the address here, as he does for so many things, which is why investigators and lawyers and creditors harrass me about him! But I may as well try,and at the very least will have that information!

Thank you again,

Changing

Dear Changing,

I hope that you're able to bring that p.o. to fruition!

In my case, ex was served the first one here, by the deputies who removed him from the property.
For the following renewals, his lawyer was notified.

Periodically, I'll check our local county court records online. As of last Spring, when he was ticketed for a traffic violation, the N's driver's license still showed my residence as his address.... so I know how that goes. Until I got our phone # changed a couple years ago, I'd have folks calling here looking for him - after I had remarried!! - folks he'd just met and to whom he'd given this ph. # as a contact. Nuts.

Wish I knew how the court will handle this if you can't find a verifiable addy for the bagga, but it's surely worth a try, dear Changing...
maybe they'll even issue an ex parta or whatever-you-call-it and call it good.
Keeping high hopes for you through all of this!

With love,
Carolyn