Healthy Narcissism --
Leaving Family Dysfunctional Patterns Behind Healthy narcissism is having just the right amount of self centeredness to get some of your own needs met and as well as some of the needs of others. It’s a balance between giving and taking. Healthy narcissism means using appropriate adult communication, having appropriate boundaries and setting limits for your own self protection. It means giving up old survival patterns that no longer work and using adult behaviors that give you more of what you want.
Resource: The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment. Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman
Mature Healthy Narcissism Everyone has narcissistic behaviors; it is normal to think of ones self and try to get out needs met. We view the world through our own narrow outlook based on our past history and our conditioning. We all need to care enough about our self (narcissism) to pay our bills and function effectively in life.
It is only when selfish behavior gets out of hand does it cause problems for the person and those around him.
“Each of us functions with a core of narcissistic, self focused view of the world,” said Marion Soloman, psychodynamic psychologist. Now we all have a bit of narcissism and indeed need some of it to survive. We all have a bit of selfishness in us and that is okay. Otherwise we would end up giving away everything. We need to learn to receive as well as give to be healthy.
The Narcissistic-Co-dependency Continuum FEAR: I am not safe unless I get. LOVE: I am safe FEAR: I am not safe unless I give. Loving, conscious relationship
Shadow Parts which create Suffering ........... Through Too little Caring for Others
Shadow Parts which create Suffering ........... Through Too much Caring for Others
Narcissism -----------------------------
Reciprocal Loving ----------------------------- Co-dependency
Mature Healthy Narcissism Getting a good balance between taking from others and giving to them is called "Healthy Narcissism" by the psychoanalytic community. Healthy Narcissism is the ability to have reciprocal relationships where the need of each of the partners is balanced with the needs of the other.
Mature Healthy Narcissism is the middle ground between caring for self and the caring for other. It includes those centered, conscious choices that fall within the center of the continuum. It is the equilibrium between taking too much and giving too much in regards to the other person. Moving towards the middle of the Narcissistic-Co-dependency continuum where there is not too much and not too little of either giving too much to others or expecting too much brings balance into a life. By learning the balance between giving too much and taking too much and learning the skills of communication that create intimacy (See books by Harville Hendrix and John Gottman); you can have loving, fulfilling relationships.
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