Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Such a graving to be known

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Anonymous:
I think for me the healthier I get the more I want to be heard. I just didn't bother before....mute girl.  MM - yes, no one will really know us, fully, hell, we are only just getting to know ourselves!  I must say though I do get a sense about people on the board -just letters on a screen but such powerful, heartfelt messages. Hi INTJ girl!

 Les (formerly known to some as Les(s)javascript:emoticon(':wink:')
javascript:emoticon(':wink:')

Ellie:

--- Quote ---In Michelle's response she reminded me of something that might only be loosely connected. I am currently in a long distance realationship with my husband. (I think this is a very good thing) When I talk to him on the phone, and I tell him a story, or a joke, often he doesn't laugh or respond. I wind up saying "Hey! are you still there?" He says "yeah."
When we are together, if he is entertaining himself with something else while I am talking I stop mid-sentence (this is only because explaining what I needed didn't work). Sometimes he gets it and tells me he wants to hear what I had to say. Other times he must tune me out completely.
--- End quote ---


I have to chuckle, because for as long as I have been married, I ramble on when I talk with H. He lets me know it by simply doozing off - yes, he falls asleep! I used to get so mad at him because I thought he didn't respect me, or what I had to say. But I realize now that I ramble because he will let me! I used to be cut off by my N family and never could get it all out. H lets me get it out, and then some, but because he cannot relate at all - he snoozes. I simply stop talking now, he jolts when he realizes he is no longer being seranaded by my voice and says - was I asleep? I answer yes, and keep on rambling. I used to take offense, but now I know he's bored - same ole same ole and wants to let me talk.

But.....I am still voiceless when no one hears my words - and sleeps thru them.....

I have accepted that there will be no one who can relate and talk it all over with in my faimly. That's why I went to a therapist. I told her from the beginning that I was paying her to be my friend and listen to me since my friends and family would not.

Plus I have all of you now! Thanks for letting me ramble!!!!!

Portia:
Patsy  :D I can hear you. I heard you on the other thread too.

Just because people don’t acknowledge you here, doesn’t mean we’re not reading and hearing. I scan everything! But we all have our own problems – not wanting to post too much (too N!), not wanting to address others directly if we’re not ‘sure’ of them (we’re all at different stages and lots of us I guess have trust issues).

Those were two honest brave posts above Patsy! Thank you. Not everyone is that courageous (including me :roll: ). Hope to hear lots more from you. I like reading you.

Hiya Michelle, boy are you moving fast!
Jskravill (did you type your name wrong or did I?!), I’m glad you’re long-distance with your H right now. And seeing so much with your folks…
Hey MM, Les and Ellie, I’m not going to leave you out! Hugs all round. P

renee:
Hi everyone,

I too have a craving to be known...seen and heard. Sometimes I feel as though I am invisible.

It seems like the people I meet do not relate to me. I will talk and they'll act like I never said anything. It's very frustrating. I guess I'm not a graceful conversationalist. Or maybe my personality is too weird. I'm not sure what it is.

Sometimes I wonder if I actually spoke the words that were in my head or did I just think I did. I wonder because nobody responds.

I just can't be that invisible can I?

Renee

Portia:
Hiya Renee, you said:

--- Quote ---Sometimes I wonder if I actually spoke the words that were in my head or did I just think I did.
--- End quote ---
yep, me too. I resort to writing things down in letters or emails to get my views 'heard'. I can't/couldn't do it verbally. Guess I'm talking mainly about the workplace here.

But even if we get ignored elsewhere, no-one is invisible here! You're making perfect sense to me - want to talk some more....? P

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