Hey there, Lissie Lou,
I'm glad to hear from you, too! The whole N thing is very disorienting and we all know what a Lost in the Funhouse feeling it is when trying to sort it out for ourselves. So glad you are going to give counseling a try. Don't be surprised if that feels weird at first, too. Very common.
I find codependency to be a very confusing term. I think Bunny defines it pretty well on another post. In fact, Bunny, I think I am going to print out a couple of your posts as reminders to myself! The one about codependency as either feeling responsible for another's emotional health and/or putting the power of one's own emotional wellbeing in another. And the post that one cannot expect an N to accept responsibility and therefore ownership of consequences for their cognitive distortions (well, something like that...I'm going to look for your phrasing!
) I think sometimes the term codependency can give caring a bad rap. But they are different concepts. I just get it mixed up sometimes.
Lissie Lou, I really admire your proactive approach to learning about your family situation. At your age, I still had my head in the sand. Thank you so much for writing to us here. Hugs, Seeker
PS. Being private v. being secretive is also different. Disclosing or not disclosing private information about yourself is about privacy, being a separate person. Being secretive is sometimes about keeping information from a person who could be helped or harmed by disclosure. Other people may ring in on that, but thought this first take might help you. Ns will accuse us of keeping secrets when actually they are just uncomfortable with our separateness. Don't let Ns define the interaction. Good luck! Seeker
