Saying NO

[CB123]

Hi all,

Ran across this review and excerpt of a book on saying "no"--the excerpt was so interesting, I thought you all would enjoy it. 

The comment that jumped off the page at me was that sometimes codependency is confused with compassion.  She presents a strong case for not abandoning compassion--and all the other empathetic skills that are expressed in the word "yes"--on the way to setting boundaries. 

This book is written to women, since the author presumes that they are the ones who usually have a problem saying "no".  My experience is that men also have the problem, and for the same reasons.  They also say "yes" when they shouldnt, but what transpires afterward is what is different (women will kill themselves doing what they agreed to, men will act as though they don't remember saying "yes"--both are dysfunctional responses, but I disagree with the author that women are the only ones who have the problem).

Anyway, I have found that saying "no" without being angry at the person you are responding to, is an important part of boundary setting.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/NewYearNewYou/Story?id=4110200&page=1

Love
CB

[Leah]

Thanks CB

Learning to say No and to apply No (and not recant) is what gave me the greatest liberation, as an ex-pollyanna doormat.

It is truly possible to say No, and at the same time, retaining empathy, sensitivity, thoughtfulness, and compassion, for another, with

genuineness and sincerity.


Thanks for this book/weblink article, I feel sure that I will enjoy a perusal.

I do so agree that it very much applies to men also.

Hope you have a wonderful day in all you do.

Love, Leah


People Pleasing or No ....
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