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Article on the neurobiology of mother-child attachment

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brokenwing:

--- Quote ---And the bishop said the problem was mine, because I could not let go. But I was not holding on. I can't. I don't do dependency. I do supporting other people. And he used me for emotional support
--- End quote ---


The minister was wrong, wrong, wrong.  And the Bishop had a nerve to expect you to let go without help and support.  He expects you to be superhuman yet his minister gets away with being inhuman.

But I recognise something of my own experience in this paragraph which I thought to share with you. Sometimes we have to let go of our role in supporting others. Sometimes we 'hold on' in order get what we need BY supporting someone else.  You may find some of the literature on co-dependency enlightening.  I found it very helpful.

I suspect that by using the phrase 'us' your t meant 'us' as individuals ie YOU.  You are in charge.  You decided it wasn't worth it.  You decided not to go back.  You decided he didn't notice.  You decided he should pursue you and that, if he didn't, this 'meant' something.

No, YOU are in charge.  You CAN have choices.  Everything we do is a painful choice, a choice with consequences.  WE are responsible.  If we act or if we don't act, we have chosen.  Every breath is a choice with consequences.  It's overwhelming when the realisation dawns - but freedom is on the other side.

Kind thoughts

Anonymous:
October,

I agree with brokenwing. And by the way, this therapist is VERY SICK to have discussed suicide like that. Did you tell your bishop about this part of the 'therapy'? (Not that he'd care.) I'm sorry you were abused by this psycho and his clerical accomplices.

bunny

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