social fatigue

[CHICKSQUIP]

Hello les,

I recently read an interesting book called, A Party of One: The Loners Manifeston by Anneli Rufus.  I think you might find some comfort from it.  We all assimilate information differently.  Extroverts seemingly have the capacity to process on the spot all or most of all that is involved in social contacts or events while introverts can't.  Therefore, when an introvert's social tank gets filled up they have to go to a quiet, familiar, comfortable place  to process, file, organize, and assimilate all they've been exposed to.  I've learned to pace myself socially.  If I go into social overload, I get weepy, and critical.  I'm the daughter of a NMom, but I think my basic nature is that of an introvert with or without her influence.

[Anonymous]

Hi Chicksquip

Yes, a great book I've read also.  Very validating.  I've learned not to use the term loner anymore, not because I think anything is wrong with it--after all, I'm a loner--but because of the stigma attached to it as discussed in this book.  That is, the "loner" = "psycho" prejudice of extroverts.  A very interesting read.  Seeker

[BlueTopaz]

Re. Chicksquip-- About a year ago, I stumbled across a Yahoogroup called "party of one", that disusses the book, and how members might relate to it personally.

I had never read the book, and have not participated in nor read the site much (time constraints), but in light of the discussion, some might find it interesting to check out:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/partyofone/?yguid=106690451

I would also recommend the book "Highly Sensitive People"- Elaine Aron.  This addresses introversion vs. extroversion in depth.   The author writes that one main quality of being a highly sensitive person, is the need for time alone.    That being around a lot of people for too long a period can be truly emotionally exhausting.

She also calls being HS a trait .    This gives a whole new perspective to these feelings.   Though intro/extraversion are considered traits as well.  Anyway, this way of being is perfectly natural for some of us.

I am the same way.   I need down time after spending a lot of time with people in crowds, parties/gatherings, and have little need to be in that environment very often at all.
 
I can also become physically & emotionally over stimulated & drained by remaining in bright sunlight for a long time, around a lot of ongoing noise, extreme temperature, am sensitive to touch, startle easily, and as already mentioned, too much social interaction...

I have found that sometimes, to at least be reasonable with people, it is considerate to compromise, and attend or host something, but 99% of the time, I think I need to do what is healthy a right for me.

There are also many great gifts that often come along with being more introverted.    Heightened perception, and emotional & spiritual intelligence, heightened awareness and levels of consciousness, gifts of the arts (i.e. writing, painting, etc...), gifts of being internal leaders/guides for others...

Anyway, I think I've just about gone off on enough of a tangent!  

But I guess you have seen by now, Les, that you are surely not alone in the way you feel.