People think that once they have financial security, or any other type of security, they will then be happy. It does not really quite work like that. Worry is like an invisible barrier to any positive events likely to come your way, it hangs over you and around you like a miasma, and besides it serves no purpose.
I like to draw this analogy: (which I am sure many will have experienced): you cannot find your favourite pair of ear-rings, and definitely not where you thought you had safely left them. You search like mad, high up, low down. You become certain you threw them out with the trash. Then you stop thinking about them altogether, and then - miracle! - you find them when you are not looking, probably right under your hand somewhere.
Hermes
"Cutting More Ties That Bind : Letting Go of Fear, Anger, Guilt, and Jealousy So We Can Educate Our Children and Change Ourselves (Paperback)
by Phyllis Krystal (Author)
"".......complex systems that program behavior. These include familial and national customs-things we do without even thinking about them-role playing, acting out of superstition, fear of unmentioned taboos, old prejudices, and fears that we accept blindly. This is the book that will make us "see" what we are doing; it will help us release though-forms; it will help us be kind of parents we wish we had!
This very important book is a textbook of effective self-awareness that opens the door to a lifestyle of self-assured and happy people. Phyllis Krystal has taught this workshop in England, Ireland, Europe, India, South America, New Zealand, Australia, and in the USA. She lives in California. ""
VERY HAPPY PEOPLE.
We all know the “type” — very happy people. They just seem to have life by the tail. Can we learn from them? Are there similar characteristics that very happy people seem to share? What do they possess that the rest of us do not?
Several years ago, two researchers sought answers to those questions by conducting a study of 222 undergraduate college students. Using a variety of screening techniques, Ed Diener and Martin E.P. Seligman isolated 10% of the students who appeared to have the highest scores in terms of happiness.
What did they discover?
The very happy group spent the least time alone and the most time socializing, and was rated highest on good relationships by themselves and by informants. The very happy group was also more extraverted, had lower neuroticism scores, and had higher agreeableness scores compared to unhappy or students with average happiness scores.
Two other important findings from the study — very happy people never reported their mood as being “ecstatic” (although they frequently reported their mood as a 7 or 8 and a 9 on a scale of 10). They also weren’t always happy. All members of the very happy group at least occasionally reported unhappiness or neutral moods, according to Diener and Seligman.
What’s not known is whether rich, social relationships caused happiness or if happiness caused rich, social relationships or if both were caused by some third variable. What is known — very happy people have some component of social relationships as part of their happiness “mix” and the link appears pretty strong."""
