PM for Certain Hope

[Gaining Strength]

Certain Hope - I tried to send you a PM and got a message that you had blocked PMs from me.  I am curious if it is a general block because you don't like PMs or is it personal because I have offended you in someway.  If I have offended you I really apologize, it certainly wasn't intended.

[Certain Hope]

Dear GS, NO - you have not in any way offended me!

I've blocked all pm's for some time, from everyone... and I need to leave it that way, at least for now... because
I do not trust myself to remain level-headed to the extent that I want to be.

Thank you for asking and not assuming, dear Gaining Strength!

Love to you and hugs,
Carolyn

[Gaining Strength]

Thanks.  I know that PMs are not for everyone. 

I am glad that I have not offended you.  Thanks for answering.  After you read this I will erase the thread.

Sincerely - GS

[Certain Hope]

Okay, GS... I'm sorry... I just feel so overextended right now, and almost like a sitting duck, you know?

Just don't feel able to be that available at this time. Sure hope this passes soon.

Love to you,
Carolyn

[Gaining Strength]

Sorry you feel overextended.  Glad you are protecting yourself.  Take care.

[Certain Hope]

Thank you for that, GS.  You, too... take good care of yourself.

[Leah]

Sorry to know that you are feeling overextended (((( Carolyn ))))

Truly, so glad to know that you have done what you feel necessary to protect yourself.

Take gentle care,

Love, Leah

[Gaining Strength]

I am trying to figure out how to delete the whole thread.  Does anyone know how - or can I only delete my own posts?

[Certain Hope]

Well, I know it can be done, because entire threads have disappeared... but I've never done it, so... ?

[Certain Hope]

GS, I looked at one of the threads I started and there's a blue button, down at the bottom left... says, "Remove Topic"

[axa]

CH

I think this is very good modelling for us who had so little self care modelled to them as children.

axa

[Certain Hope]

CH

I think this is very good modelling for us who had so little self care modelled to them as children.

axa

Oh, Axa... I so appreciate your encouragement here... thank you! I very, very nearly removed the block ... in fact, I'd typed that I would do so, and then erased it...  and I do so need to better monitor my own abilities and limits...

With deep gratitude and love,
Carolyn

[Gaining Strength]

Thanks Certain Hope - I see the button.  I love what Axa posted and heartily agree.  Why not block?  I still was able to communicate with you right out in front of everyone.  I am glad you are taking care of yourself.

[Certain Hope]

Thanks, GS    I feel much better now! Again, I am so glad and thankful that you asked!

Clearly, I still have a deep weakness for that old hook... wanting to be available for everyone, always, no matter what...
the old habit of trying to be a fixer. I do believe it's a prideful thing, partly... almost like wanting to be indispensable. That's how my mother is... and I've come to understand that's why she never really wanted me to learn to care for myself.. or even for my own children. The moment she finds that she is not indispensable, she wants no more to do with you...
but if you'll allow her to think you cannot possibly manage on your own, she'll step in and take over.

All of that is tied into this for me... along with my past running away from situations where I felt either overwhelmed or irrelevant. Oh, that balance is hard coming!

[Gaining Strength]

Certain Hope - what started as an on board PM has turned into a valuable thread.  I think your insights might be helpful to many of us.  Mind if they stay up a while?