Flower- It sounds like we have had very similar experiences. I had a house pulled from under me too. We were lured to move to CA after first being engaged. My parents told us to not bring the car (at the time we were 24 and personally poor/starting out). So we left MD, husband sold the car for $400, and flew out on their dime. We basically had nothing but 2 suitcases.
They promised up and down that we would get a "mini-estate" and 2 Mercedes. I was like you, so blinded by wanting love and support that I would accept anything without question. It really wasn't about the money, it was about the sense of being accepted, looked out for, regarded. It had always been about my sibling too in my family, so to be the center of attention like that was so flattering and welcomed by the missing parts of me I felt dazzled and special and I think my needs at the time affected my better judgement.
So after 4 days in a crappy motel on their dime (this should have been my first warning sign- on the first day there was a police shootout next door and a criminal died and they did not offer to move us), they decided that the search was "taking too long" and they wanted a car back. Weird, but we said ok and did so. Then we found a house and my mom turned on me once again, saying how dare I want a house, that is "selfish, irresponsible, and immature". I was in such shock. When we were still in therapy, she denied this over and over. Right before she stopped the process, she started to bend and admit bits and pieces, but they were distorted, just like your mom.
Anyway, similar thing, and I was soon told by my parents that they made a "mistake' and had "reconsidered". We were cut off in LA. With the $400 and the selling of the other car, we crashed at this Japanese guy's apartment for several weeks, and somehow God took care of us and Michael got a good job within the first week and we were able to save and get our own place. It was sort of a miracle. Again, like you, rather than being overtly pissed, I was mute and compliant and did not speak up regarding the insanity of what had already occured.
You have given the perfect word for it- betrayal. And the betrayal of a home, a sense of security and space, is so raw. Its like giving a piece of your heart and dreams to a person who just slices randomly through it. The grand gesture then denied is such a sorrow! It was like they said "I love you, I'm thinking of your happiness and future, here..." and then "What was I thinking? Who are to you to have this?", which is the unloving act. I so understand the pain.
Again, like you, I had the double betrayal. 5 months later my sister got engaged and they bought her a very expensive house, no questions asked, outright. I am really sorry for me, you, and anyone else who has been trained to get their heart broken by the wish to be loved. Here is a toast to waking up!!!! Its like coming out of the Matrix.
