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Controversial Issue

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Portia:
Hi Onyx/David. Ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha! :D  Yes, you hit the right button. Oh,  :shock: no pun intended?!  :D I know what you mean about the ‘ladettes’ of today. They scare me. And they drink so much (vodka seems a favourite) and smoke loads too. I dunno. It is wrong, these women have no self-esteem and go overboard the other way, drinking and sleazing as self-medicating. But it’s only a minority. It’s a by-product of ‘equality’. Women now have the jobs and money and can make just as much of a mess of their lives as men could. Dontcha just love equality? Everyone sinks to the lowest common denominator! I’m 42, so probably see things through a similar generational pair of eyes as you.

But what I really wanted to know was: you wanted lots of sex and affection and made that clear with your Nlady, but what do you want now? Something different? Someone with compassion, kindness perhaps? Or more sex? He he he! I wondered if your experience had changed you, other than perhaps making you more guarded with womenfolk? Hmmm? P

Onyx:
Nice to learn that I've hit you button :lol: !

Frankly, I think that I've grown up, slowed down or just got bored........I don't know.Yep sex was a big part of my relationship with this person, but I've kind of got beyond it now! Yes I know the Somantic thingy......but I actually thought that it was mutual. Passionate, mutual......but repsect full of mind and body too!

No two situations or perhaps ever the same, and that works for Narcissism too. Shortly after meeting her, I sold two of my business's that I'd built from scratch. I'd wanted a change of life anyway, a far less stressfull existence. So meeting her, kind of fitted in to what I presumed was good. I'd spent 5 years in the Royal Navy on submarines tanking around the North Atlantic during the Cold War and had never 'taken out' any real time. So really I was loaded, not experienced and strange as it seems, a little relationship niave!

So there we were, in London with loads of cash and bags of time on our hands. Sure there was a lot of frantic and furious situations and frequently. It was so of art really! Two artists lock in a environment with lot of canvas and paint! What are you going to do in such circumstances other than..............paint! So it was kind of 9.5 weeks spread over a number of years. But I don't now think that it was for anyother reason than buzzzzz! It gave us both a great sexual and mental togetherness.....i thought, the money was incidental......I tought! But guess what.........yep you've got it!

I did it, we did it, she did it, but for totally different reasons in the end! Her circumstances were different to mine  when we first met. It was my mistake and very imature of me. I felt I'd made a huge mental connection which honestly let me believe that I'd met my soul mate. But in the end, I believe that she was simply mirroring my asperations. It was a fantasy, it wasn't real!

I was completely unaware of her Lesbian needs. Together we'd never talked about it in any depth other than passing conversations. She once exclaimed that if her then son of 7 ever turned gay, she'd disown him. For me, that was enough said about her sexuallity. It was when I came home and found her in bed with one of her close friends that I got the message right. I also soon discovered that this had happened before. I heard and saw it with my very eyes and ears. There was not mistake. She had never been able to accept this for fear of being seen negatively by her parents and familly. Even today she lives a lie,

So as for me and sex today.............I just grew up! Everythings still the same, we all have needs don't we? I just tend not to take things to seriously and in doing so, I enjoy a more pleasant and varied life. I no longer seek depth, more just the good whilst avoiding the bad like the plague. Modern day living allows us to do this. Lots of 'friends'........fu** buddies with no pain! That the frustration really of living today. If we give totally to one person, we're likely to loose more. If we stay free and single, then we'll enjoy more, but with less depth. A strange paradigm of life today don't you agree.

We came from a time when men were "cool" if we bonked a lot. Women were whores if they did the same! Now it's "uncool" to use such words and positively the only method of excersise most of us get on a regular bases. I older and wiser.........I'm also happier.......by smiles!!

Anyway, u've asked me the question for a reason. And as you and I are on the cusp of being old farts together, why don't you explain you point of view in asking the question in the first place :lol:

David

nassim:
Hi there,

What can be said after a bit like this?

David wrote:

 Lots of 'friends'........fu** buddies with no pain! That the frustration really of living today. If we give totally to one person, we're likely to loose more. If we stay free and single, then we'll enjoy more, but with less depth. A strange paradigm of life today don't you agree.

Actually, no I don't agree. I have no use for shallow relationships. I think as men we must look beyond the wobbly bits (as you say) and see something deeper. Not all beautiful women come in great packages. It's the same with women who only look for the superficial in men. I mean really that's the point of dating. People show their true colors after a time and you need to pay attention to see if they are worth your time for a real relationship. If you've been burned repeatedly, I'd say the common demoninator is yourself. I'm being very straight  forward because you sound like a bloke who can manage it.

The casual affairs you describe above sound very painful to me. But that's just to me. I couldn't live that way. And I think Portia is right in saying that the women you describe are actually the minority.

I'll get off my soapbox now. I guess I want to know if you really feel you are happier in the shallow end of the pool?

Nassim

Onyx:
Nassim

Don't worry, it's perfectly reasonable to express yourself howsoever. So your response to what I wrot is fine and yes, I can take it  :D .

I'm not right in how I live on this subject. I'm probably very wrong. But I'm not trying to be 'in a relationship' come what may. So I've kind of broken it down to a series of very simple ways of looking at things.

I work, I play, I laugh and I.......... It's all very mutual and doesn't lead anyone up the garden path. If Missus Right floats along, then yes, I'd take it very seriously. But in the meantime, I don't lie , cheat or beat anyone.

Also there exists a section of society who prefer to live our lives like this. Lots of women have too much to lose right now and are quite happy living a full and free life.  It is based upon friendship but without the: fetching and carrying, washing, snoring, nose picking, farting (I lied there), fighting, arguments, stealing etc... I put it down to evolution and honesty. It wouldn't be heard of or tolerated years ago. But then again, we live in challenging times don't you think? :wink:

Nero

ch:
WOW!! I am just catching up with some old posts here.  This is an amazing story with so much depth.  I love it.  Thanks David and others.  You don't have to answer my previous post where i asked about your background and wondered how you became so wise.  I am reading all about it in these old posts, and learning so much.  I am utterly speechless at this moment.....

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