Dear Kelly,
As you know already, this is not a `men's logic' issue at all. Your Hubby is controlling, and when he doesn't get his way he's verbally abusive towards you, and then you at him.
One possibie reason for this is you're both angry at `other things' aside from the immediate issues, and the fights let you take it out on someone. Or perhaps your own rage is the only thing guarding your spirit from total annihilation by the abusive people around you? I think only you can answer the `why ' of it, but it may help to understand what you want, and what you get out of the `stataus quo'
Kelly, I feel that your mother knows the meaning of the business to you, and how much you'd like to run it without her control and interference. It would not surprise me if robbing you of that pleasure is her major reason for with-holding this opportunity from you. N's `feed' off that kind of energy.
Have you thought of just letting it go, and thereby completely negating your mother's control over you? There could be some surprising outcomes. One, you would change your life, and you could arrange it so that no N's are close to you. Its amazing how much that improve your quality of life.
Or two, your mother will lose interest in the business, because she's no longer able to control you using it as leverage. So then it would be yours anyway.
You are a good person, kelly, and you have not let your spirit be crushed. You are certainly strong enough to change your life, as hard as it can be. You are not `bad' . There is no reason for guilt or shame. But it sounds like its been a long time since you've been around people who treat you well. I know how much that can hurt your self perception.
X bella
