Elaine,
I think everyone here has really given you excellent advice and comments. I have two things to tell you, based on my experience with this topic:
1.) You need to stay away from this man. It will be hard and feel like you are about to die any moment, but you will get through this one second at a time, then one minute at a time, and then hours at a time, etc.
2.) Make yourself a chart in a notebook. Divide a page or pages into several columns, saying "what" "when" "where" "how did I feel" "what did I want to do" "what did I do?" Then, ask yourself:
What is the thought I'm having about him? (I miss him, I can't live without him, I'm gonna just die, I want to die)
When am I having it? (doing laundry, driving, looking at photos of us together, around 8pm)
Where am I when it hits me? (in the car, at the movies, in our favorite spot in the park)
How am I feeling? (miserable, scared, angry, sad, anxious)
What do I want to do about this? (call him, write him a letter, drive off a cliff, scream)
What did I end up doing? ( called him and got his voicemail, ignored my feelings, went out with my friend)
These things came from a book called "How to Break Your Addiction to a Person" They work, because, you begin to notice patterned behavior in yourself and you begin to see the "triggers" of it, when you read what you wrote. There is POWER IN JOURNALLING this way! Please try it at least, for a few weeks or so. It will help you see things from objectivity and not emotions. It is very healing I promise!
One of the main things dysfunctional relationships do to us, is steal our identity and objectivity. You begin to see things only through the eyes of the relationship, vs how they actually are. That is dangerous and debilitating.
2.) Realize that, not only is being with a true narcissist, going to harm you mentally, it also taxes your adrenal glands, causing possible future problems. Being stressed out, causes an increase in a chemical called cortisol, responsible for fight and flight. Eventually, it steals the fight and flight right out of you and ruins the rest of your body, starting with the thyroid and adrenal glands, till you can barely function. No human vessel of clay is WORTH ALL THAT! There are many other fish in the sea for REAL, who will honor, respect and love you. He's NOT WORTH LOSING YOUR SELF!
~Laura