This is from How to Be an Adult by David Richo. I can't tell you how many golden nuggets I got from this book! I'm still going back and re-reading and going wow! yeah, that's right! Anyway, here's a small excerpt of what it might look like to encounter a "Healthy Adult":
Declarations of a Healthy Adulthood
I accept full responsibility for the shape my life has taken.
I need never fear my own truth, powers, fantasies wishes, thoughts, sexuality, dreams, or ghosts.
I trust that “darkness and upheaval always precede an expansion of consciousness”. (Jung)
I let people go away or stay and am still okay.
I accept that I may never feel I am receiving – or have received – all the attention I seek.
I acknowledge that reality is not obligated to me; it remains unaffected by my wishes or rights.
One by one, I drop every expectation of people and things.
I reconcile myself to the limits on others’ giving to me and on my giving to them.
Until I see another’s behavior with compassion, I have not understood it.
I let go of blame, regret, vengeance, and the infantile desire to punish those who hurt or reject me.
When change and growth scare me, I still choose them. I may act with fear, but never because of it.
I am still safe when I cease following the rules my parents (or others) set for me.
I cherish my own integrity and do not use it as a yardstick for anyone else’s behavior.
I am free to have and entertain any thought. I do not have the right to do whatever I want. I respect the limits of freedom and still act freely.
I overcome the urge to retreat on the brink of discovery.
No one can or needs to bail me out. I am not entitled to be taken care of by anyone or anything.
I give without demanding appreciation though I may always ask for it.
I reject whining and complaining as useless distractions from direct action on or withdrawal from unacceptable situations.
I let go of control without losing control.
Choices and perceptions in my life are flexible, not rigid or absolute.
If people knew me as I really am, they would love me for being human like them.
I drop poses and let my every word and deed reveal what I am really like.
Changes and transitions are more graceful as I cooperate with them.
Every human power is accessible to me.
I live by personal standards and at the same time – in self-forgiveness – I make allowances for my occasional lapses.
I grant myself a margin of error in my work and relationships. I release myself from the pain of having to be right or competent all the time.
I accept that it is normal to feel that I do not always measure up.
I am ultimately adequate to any challenge that comes to me.
My self-acceptance is not complacency since in itself it represents an enormous change.
I am happy as I do what I love and love what is.
Wholehearted engagement with my circumstances releases my irrepressible liveliness.
I love unconditionally and set sane conditions on my self giving.
This is definitely on my list of 10 best books ever.
Dandylife
