Hi Kel,
I know it's a tough time to think about this...but do you feel that in moving closer to your mother's house (and getting her financial help it) that you might have wedged yourself more tightly into the battle for the business?
Is it possible to think about downsizing your lifestyle, maybe focusing on Voluntary Simplicity, in order to free yourself? Even if it involved moving way across town to a simpler home...or even moving to another state to work in a Christian business that needs and would appreciate a capable manager? Could your husband and children get on board and support you in a new adventure elsewhere? How can you free yourself from the chronic irritant of your mother without removing yourself from her orbit?
You could then work PT, or take more time to find a job that would bring you some daily pleasure, instead of all this misery...
Your life matters. Your days matter. Your serenity matters. You should not live without hope of change.
Just thoughts, and I know they're probably very improbable suggestions. Just don't want you to forget that you always, always, always have choices. Sometimes when I face the possibility of losing my home, I think: how happy could I decide to be in a simple apartment, or a townhouse? Couldn't I create a happy colorful atmosphere? Couldn't I invite people over for potlucks and feel joy anyway, even without this big middle-class security symbol?
with love,
Hops
