Abuse

[Ami]

Carolyn
  That is so funny. The dogs get blamed for everything(lol)!!                                                    Love   Ami

[Certain Hope]

Ami,

Has your husband sought any counseling for himself in order to go through the grieving process?

Hugs,
Carolyn

[Ami]

He is seeing Ann, separately. Carolyn,my H wants me to "warm" up to him and I can't. That is why he is raging b/c I CANT do it. However, maybe it is just an abusive nature that will rage against anything. I bet it is this.
  Carolyn, I NEVER imagined life could be this hard, never, ever.
  By trying to avoid the harshness of life(not getting a divorce, staying with s/one I really did not like) I tried to avoid pain and instead brought it down on me like a torrent.     



PS I am going to the gym, the one addiction you can have that won't kill you(LOL)                  

[Certain Hope]

Dear Ami,

I understand.
Since you are both seeing Ann individually, maybe she can tell you when, and if, it may be time for the two of you to see her together, as a couple. 
If you both had that to look forward to, for some time off in the future,  maybe your husband could just back off for now and focus on his own independent healing, instead of trying to use you as a crutch. 
What he needs he can only get from God... and then, and only then, can he come to you as a whole person. And it's the same for you, of course. No man, including your husband, can make you whole again.

Amazing things can happen in the midst of tragedy and God can stir up a whole new outlook on life and people... when we're willing to hear Him and act on His guidance. I'm believing that for you... and for myself 

Love,
Carolyn

[Ami]

(((((((((((((((Carolyn))))))))))))))

[Certain Hope]

Thank you, Ami     I hope that didn't sound too bossy or like I was speaking from atop Mount Sinai or something... just when I get to thinking about these matters, a whole other tone comes over me and sometimes it comes out a little like preaching... lol.

Tomorrow I am going to worship with a new fellowship of believers, so I am very wound up and excited about that... after several years of primarily associating with an internet fellowship (due to distance).  It's been kinda like 3 years in the wilderness, receiving teachings and being prepared for... I dunno what. We shall see!

Love to you... and I hope things have calmed down at home.

Carolyn

[Ami]

They have , Carolyn, BACK to same old(LOL).
 Hope that you have a good time tomorrow and tell us about it.                      Love   Ami

[Certain Hope]

Dear Ami,

Thank you so much... it was absolutely awesome! Just exactly like I picture the first century church would have been.
I want you to know, too, that every part of my religious upbringing goes against the notion of "having a good time" at church... LOL.  Until you said that you hoped I'd have a good time, it never really hit me so loudly and clearly - - how stuck I still was in some old thinking ruts. It's almost like - by expressing your simple wish to me - I was given permission to actually enjoy myself     Might sound weird, but nonetheless, it's true!!  So... thank you!! 

((((((((Ami))))))))) I hope that you're having a blessed, peaceful day.

Love,
Carolyn

[Ami]

Oh Carolyn,
 THAT is so neat that you changed your paradigm about Church. You should check out a Messianic Jewish Service if you want to see  a really "good ' time, There is music and dance, that is very joyful.
  I love to go, not "have " to go. It is one of the highlights of the week.
  Afterwards, they have a pot luck and everyone talks
  It is neat b/c there are all denominations and races there.
  Onward and upward to good times in church(lol) !              Love   Ami

[Certain Hope]

I would love to go, Ami... the way you describe a Messianic Jewish celebration of worship reminds me immediately of King David dancing in the streets and praising the Lord for the victory. Beautiful!
Where I live, in the midst of cow pastures, there is no synagogue available... but whenever I get back to the big city for a visit, I'll surely explore the options. I love this area and our rural setting, but it definitely lacks in diversity!

Onward and upward 

Hope you've had a good, peaceful day (((((((Ami)))))))).... and thank you for your support and encouragement.

Love,
Carolyn

 

[Ami]

Thank you, Carolyn
 ((((((((((((Carolyn))))))))))))))))