I know this post may sound a little insignificant and I recognize that I may just be feeling overly sensitive given the amount of rejection and negative experiences I've endured from my family, but I was hoping someone might offer me an opinion on this.
Here's the situation. My "healthy" brother has a daughter who I, of course, adore and have spent a great deal of time with. Because her mom works part-time, I've been called on regularly, even weekly, to help out with her, which I have enjoyed doing and can do because I've been unemployed. I not only pick her up at school, I've taken her to dance class, sports activities, tutoring sessions. But I also initiate activities with her at other times. I've taken her to movies, amusement parks, shopping, restaurants, zoos, even braved the crowds to let her see her favorite High School Musical stars in person. I sit with her and help her with her homework, take her to the park...You name it.
Well, this year I've noticed that since my niece is now in middle school (11 years old) and doesn't need me to baby-sit as much, I'm only called on when she needs to be picked up or taken somewhere, not to do anything else. So now, when my brother and his wife have a night out or need to go away for the weekend, they make sure she only goes to friends houses where there are other kids. Now, I'm not selfish. I understand that kids want to spend time with other kids. But I do think that once in awhile it would be nice if they would think of me when an overnight visit is needed because they have other plans....
So for example, today my brother calls me and tells me he and his wife are going away for the weekend as a belated Valentine's Day present. He is dropping off his dog for me to watch over the weekend....BUT he is dropping off my niece to stay with a girlfrriend of his wife who has two smaller children. To be honest, I couldn't help but feel bad about that. I can't help but feel I'm relegated to just be the dog-sitter, chauffeur or last-minute baby-sitter. It also irks me because out of three aunts in the family, I am the only one who has ever initiated activities with my niece these last years. The others see her at the key holidays but never pick up the phone to ask her to a movie or something, or help her with her homework, etc. I feel that now that my niece is older, my services are no longer needed....I guess I just feel used....and hurt.
The other thing is that ironically, even though I have been the one in the family to take an interest in my niece and do all sorts of things with her, she has treated me the worst of all her aunts or relatives. My brother says it's because she regards me as a "playmate" and not an aunt, but I don't t hink that's a good excuse. She talks back at me, sometimes hits me and ignores what I say. Once when I took her to the pool, despite my directions, she swiped my prescription sunglasses off my face and ended up breaking them. I had to spend the money to buy a new pair----all because she wouldn't listen....But everyone else regards her as their special "angel" and such...and they refuse to acknowledge how she treats me....It seems this type of rejection is the story of my life....
Anyway, I could use another perspective on this.....I'm just really feeling bad about all of this....not to mention my job search situation which has been stressful for a number of reasons....
