Author Topic: FOO(family of origin) Stuff(Will it EVER go away?)-----bleh  (Read 1321 times)

Ami

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FOO(family of origin) Stuff(Will it EVER go away?)-----bleh
« on: February 27, 2008, 04:44:59 PM »
 I saw two  FOO patterns. I am happy,but  it seems like the FOO things have layers and layers.
I saw two things,with the help of my friend.
 One was when  I made a "mistake". My friend accepted my apology(graciously),but *I*  had shame raining down on my head(from myself-my M in my head ,really) I was very distraught,  bereft.
 It was a combination of many factors, fear of anger, fear of abandonment, fear of making a mistake, fear of myself destroying myself for making a mistake. It was a whole ball of yarn, with me ,in the middle sucking my thumb,if you know what I mean.
  Boy, the FOO stuff hurts SO badly. It picks you up, as if you are in a tornado and swirls you around,mercilessly.
 Then, hopefully,it sets you down and you can figure  out what happened.
 Then on top of that, I was feeling SO happy, yesterday, so deeply happy and peaceful and *I* sabataged it by getting in to a shame spiral.
 I see that I must sabatage joy and peace b/c I have to 'pay" for having joy and peace,like my M made me pay for anything "good".  I have to bring down my joy like my M did----bleh.Hopefully,by facing it,I can heal it.
 Can anyone relate?                             Ami
 
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Ami

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Re: FOO(family of origin) Stuff(Will it EVER go away?)-----bleh
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2008, 04:57:31 PM »
Thanks Amber
I am a hurting"girl",today(lol) .
Does it hurt to see it, Amber?                  Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Gabben

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Re: FOO(family of origin) Stuff(Will it EVER go away?)-----bleh
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2008, 05:05:07 PM »
  it seems like the FOO things have layers and layers.


I cannot even read the rest of your paragraph without commenting on this. So true. Layers and layers. Ami -- I thought that I had worked through my abandonment issues after 4 intensive years of T. I figured I had integrated the trauma and was healed at least as far as that trauma was concerned.

But then this last go around shocked me. I could not believe how much trauma that little 4 year old had to experience or chose not to experience at that time, I don't blame my inner child for shutting down. The FOO pain is tough even now as an adult.

((((((((AMI)))))))))


I wish I had more to say, perhaps later.

I'm glad Amber is here to help.

Gabben



Ami

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Re: FOO(family of origin) Stuff(Will it EVER go away?)-----bleh
« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2008, 05:18:53 PM »
Thank you Amber,Lise ,Besee.
JUST knowing I am not alone is so, so  healing,in itself. I feel better, already.                                 Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung