Author Topic: I take my leave  (Read 1329 times)

reallyME

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I take my leave
« on: February 25, 2008, 02:03:54 PM »
Once again, the true abuser has succeeded in silencing and rendering a person voiceless.  Dr G, though you are qualified by your degree to diagnose people, you by your own admission have informed the board members that you have not and will not do so, therefore, you are misjudging me, by telling me I was WRONG in what I said about CB.  If you do not even allow yourself to judge someone's disordered behavior, then you also can not justifiably say I am wrong either in saying I've seen the disorder in operation.

CB was every bit abusive, albeit covertly, to me and to others.  I have heard from a person who has also felt this way about CB, recently.  That was all the validation I needed.

I am shocked, that knowing that you have started this board, are very much aware of the signs of NPD, you would support an abuser over a victim of that abuser, and even ask the person victimized to apologize to the abuser.  Will you thus ask the abused adult children of N's to go back to their N parents and apologize for not being more willing prey and supply too?

You are right...I can't and won't be a part of a board where the very one who started it and is well aware of what true abuse looks like, inadvertantly asks the one who was abused, to say THEY are sorry for pointing out the actions and expecting justice to prevail.  This is not the first time you have expected this of me, though, thankfully Bean and I ended up on a good note, since Bean is NOT a narcissist but was a very wounded, defensive person way back then.  Again, Bean, thank you.  You are very precious to me.!

I will say one last time, CB covertly abused me not once but several times on this group.  I have pointed it out repeatedly and once again, she left after throwing a dig my way, and once again, I will leave because now things were twisted, her "sins" forgotten, she has been placated sufficiently and seen as "poor persecuted martyr" and I am now seen as perpetrator.

I do not thank you, Dr G and all for allowing Narcissistic abuse of me right on the very board where people are supposed to come to HEAL from this horrid experience.  I do thank you for letting me have this place to read posts that were very helpful to me indeed and for pretty much letting me say what I believed needed to be said, without censuring.

To all genuine, good-hearted, Godly humans on this group: Be careful all...abusers are the winners in this forum.  Do not bother to cry when you are pinched nor speak out when you are manipulated.  It all falls on deaf ears and blinded eyes.

Farewell and Godspeed to those who receive it.

~Laura

Ami

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Re: I take my leave
« Reply #1 on: February 25, 2008, 02:34:33 PM »
IMO, Dr G is just saying the diagnosing is left to "professionals", as I understand his comments. It is like brain surgery is left to brain surgeons. We have had much "name calling(MUCHO) and Dr G did not intervene.
  He, as a therapist, intervened ,in this case, not FOR or against any person,as I see it, but for his professional integrity(IMO)
  That is how I see it, anyway.            Ami


PS  I could say more about my personal experiences,but I am not  able to handle strong emotions, right now.
« Last Edit: February 25, 2008, 02:37:23 PM by Ami »
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Gabben

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Re: I take my leave
« Reply #2 on: February 25, 2008, 02:34:48 PM »
Dear Laura,

It was hard for me emotionally to read your post because I can empathize with your pain.

However, I learned a (painful) lesson here on this board that it is not my place to point others behavior out or label them.

I'm learing to just trust God to be the judge, this requires patience on my part.

Peace and hugs to you Laura -- I wish you wouldn't leave, instead I wish you would stay, grow and heal with us.

Gab

« Last Edit: February 25, 2008, 02:58:08 PM by Gabben »

Hopalong

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Re: I take my leave
« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2008, 02:53:38 PM »
RM,
I'll miss you too.

I just wish there wasn't such escalation of everything.

I think sometimes people, including me, will make a periodic subtle "dig" simply out of frustration. We're human, not saints.

When you look at a mild "dig" or ill-chosen phrase and whoooooooooosh, escalate it instantly to an accusation of ABUSE!, reality (and community) goes out the window.

It's the brutality of that that saddens me.

Good people HAVE to be allowed to make imperfect sentences. To be frustrated and not always have perfect illumination of their own nuance. We're complex creatures. We're not either this or that, good or bad, abusers or victims, pure or polluted.

A black-or-white, abuser/victim, label/unlabelled approach to complex human beings...just doesn't help. You or anybody.

And there really is something to the notion of "taking offense". Sometimes I think we get so focused on pointing fingers and shrieking "Offender!" that we don't take responsibility for taking offense.

RM, I've felt great compassion for your circumstances, and admiration for your efforts. I say farewell with love and good wishes for your hopes and dreams.

I'm sorry that communication's broken down in this instance, and I know it will be hard for you. But I have confidence that you will find friends and support and new insight as you go. You are one person I know will never give up.

with love,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

DailyMail

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Re: I take my leave
« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2008, 03:14:59 PM »
aww...are you kidding me?????

after all of your and my patience and curiousity about what we were saying to each other-- and finally meeting each other in some understanding, you're leaving?

well aint that a pisser!

(kicking the can)

reallyME

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Re: I take my leave
« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2008, 03:19:43 PM »
Daily Mail, I am being asked to compromise my stand.  i am not one to be put back into that box.  i know an abuser when i see one and i do not apologize for abuse.  That's just ridiculous.  I'd be happy to stay in touch with you via email.  i will give anyone my email address who wants it.  simply pm me on here and i will give it to you.

I'm best to just lurk and not respond at this point. Anything i say or do not say can and will be used against me.

However, something good came of all this for me.  I have just finished deleting every file on my computer, that contains any sort of label in it...n, bpd, avoidant, etc...all files are GONE and i'm done dealing with that. i'm pressing on to higher things in the spirit realm where i should have most likely stayed to begin with.

Blessya

DailyMail

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Re: I take my leave
« Reply #6 on: February 25, 2008, 03:25:34 PM »
Oh I'm not attempting to invalidate any of your reasons, I'm just voicing my own frustration.

You do what you need to do for yourself.  I'm going to apologize ahead of time though, I'm no good at email discussions.  It's sort of like the difference between making phonecalls and spending the afternoon with my friends in a cafe.  The one I am all business, kurt, short, abrupt and unfriendly.  The other I laugh, cry, share, support, get lost in the ebb and flow of conversation.

So what you see of me here in a web forum is not what you typically get of me in email.

I'll be disappointing there.

Give some thought to coming back every once in awhile  just to update people on where your inner journey takes you from here.  I always like knowing how things turned/worked themselves out.

reallyME

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Re: I take my leave
« Reply #7 on: February 25, 2008, 03:36:14 PM »
I might, DM

dandylife

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Re: I take my leave
« Reply #8 on: February 25, 2008, 03:46:12 PM »
Really Me,
I'm very sorry to see that this has happened. I don't know you very well, but so many of your posts are descriptive and give such an interesting "keyhole" look into your life. Thank you for that. Hope to hear from you again in the future.

Dandylife
"All things not at peace will cry out." Han Yun

"He who angers you conquers you." - Elizabeth Kenny