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Legal/Emotional Struggles
phoenix:
bye
Portia:
Hiya Phoenix, you lurker you! :D Welcome back.
I’ve just read your post and …. Sometimes, very rarely, some people make me think about resorting to physical violence, or at least the threat of it. Because they’re controlling bullies and they just might understand the concept of “if you don’t give me my money, I’ll nuke your house/car/golf course.” It might hit the spot, so to speak. But I don’t agree with violence, just daydreaming.
--- Quote ---when I mentioned getting legal help, he warned me to be prepared to handle the consequences, should I choose that.
--- End quote ---
Empty threats. If he says this again, ask him to be precise about what he means. Really precise. “I’ll ruin you” how? “You’ll lose” why are you so sure? “Because I’m right” then why are you threatening me? It’s all rubbish. Is he very status-conscious? Maybe you could threaten him by telling him you’ll write this story – ‘Rich bully Father withholds inheritance from daughter living on $xxx a week’ kind of thing. – all over the local press. Or you could print your own leaflets. Ha ha! I love daydreaming on behalf of other people.
--- Quote ---I just learned she fears he is going to ask for it back, to be held by him until some future time when she buys another house.
--- End quote ---
There’s the law and the law. Either he can *take* it back, or he can’t. Presumably if he just asks, she will tell him where to go?
Keep going with the lawsuit. Take the legal advice. Separate the emotion (mum’s lunch) from the logic and the law. Hey, I’m thinking….if you succeed, how do you actually get your hands on the money? Presumably he is served a notice to hand it over, but what if he doesn’t? Do you have to keep going back to court? Until they tell him they’ll put him in prison? And how far will he go? Is that what his threats mean – you’ll have to fight all the way? I don’t know the legal process involved, but I wonder. P
phoenix:
bye
Anonymous:
Relatives sue each other all the time. You have nothing to lose.
bunny
Anonymous:
Hi Phoenix,
Welcome back.
--- Quote ---I hate to say it, but it scares me and I don't know why! The idea of failing in this endeavour, facing his victory, is almost immobilizing.
--- End quote ---
I'd say this is the fear of the unknown more than fear of your dad. A good lawyer (there are some good ones :wink: ) will tell you if you have a case or not. You are right that there are proper procedures, etc, that executors have to follow. He is assuming that you wouldn't have a clue what they are. Get a lawyer, the most scrupulous estate planning attorney you can find and tell him what is going on. Some EP attorneys even specialize in litigating estate matters (not just drawing up wills and trusts).
Many executors play fast and loose with other people's money because THEY are the ignorant ones or at least, very self-serving. They MUST mind their Ps and Qs. Don't go by what HIS lawyer says, because if they are blowing it, it's his butt, too.
Failure in a lawsuit aside, I think you will feel better knowing the rules of the game. If you can throw that at him, he's gonna go running. Call his bluff. I think if you are anywhere near close to scaring him, he's going to get noisier and more blustery. That should encourage, not discourage you. Even if you cannot get your money outright, it does sound like you could be successful in getting another executor (like a bank officer) appointed.
If you can't afford a lawyer, get some books by Nolo Press on the issue. You might want to do this anyway to prep for your first meeting with a lawyer. Educate yourself. Good luck and welcome back, Seeker
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