Forgiveness

[gratitude28]

I am here teaching at school. I like kids. I always have. I also know that kids can be rude and annoying at times. But anytime that happens, I remind them (and myself) that we can start over the next time we meet (or the same day, if possible).
With my mother, any infraction brought wrath - and often long-term, or even endless anger. She still "hates" people for some slight that took place (imagined???) years or decades ago.
How can you stay mad at a child for acting like a child? I think, from my reading, that since the N personalizes everything, instead of seeing the child as being rude for a moment, she sees the child being rude to her, that it is part of the nature of the child and thus the child no doubt dislikes her. Therefore, she decides to dislike the child.
Honestly, when I am with kids, occasionally I get scared that when I correct them or call them on behavior, they will despise me. But, the truth is, if you treat kids fairly, they like and respect you.
Lots of lessons I am pondering today.
Love, Beth

[Hopalong]

Oy.
Your mother is like my mother in that.

She repeats grudge stories from 40 years ago...a neighbor's snub.

Even a grandchild's rudeness when she was small.

Horrible to listen to.

Hops

[Gabben]

Honestly, when I am with kids, occasionally I get scared that when I correct them or call them on behavior, they will despise me. But, the truth is, if you treat kids fairly, they like and respect you.

Hi (((Beth))))


You are correct about that. I used to coach ice-skating to little children. I too would get scared. But then I realized that children seem to actually really like being corrected, if it is done without shame and attack and out of love for them.

For one, it is a form of attention and two, they want and yearn to understand, learn and grow. At least what I saw from them.

I'm sure your students really like you. I cannot see a mean bone about you.

Peace to you,
Lise

[Violet]

occasionally I get scared that when I correct them or call them on behavior, they will despise me.

Hi, Beth,
My Nmom was the same.  She had personal running vendettas and feuds with other people in our neighborhood and often spoke of them venomously.  Of course, she totally denies that now.  I grew up in fear of incurring her wrath.  I was just wondering if your being scared about correcting your students is because your Nmom's voice is still in your head?

Just wondering....  Violet

[gratitude28]

I do correct them,as I do my own kids. I am just always amazed at how things 'really work.'

Here is an example:

I had a girl in 5th grade and she was being a brat one day. And she wrote **ck on a note to someone, which I gave to her teacher. Now, I know she is just a kid, and I did the same things when I was a kid. But the NM voice wants to believe she is nasty, when what I KNOW is she is just a kid. So I treat her as if it never happened. Sometimes, with kids  am very comfortable with, I will say soemthing like, 'Gosh, I would hope you wouldn't write anything like that again. That isn't very nice.' At any rate, the girl and I are fine. I like her. She is nice with me. This, I guess, is what I meant when I started this thread.

And thanks so much for all the input.

Lots of love,

Beth