Hes always saying the word hate, it makes me so sad and that he feels diffrently about me then he did when we were dateing, that he dosent respect me anymore. However in the next breath he loves me. Im not purefect I dont live up to his standards I feel so bad, I do love him though.
Remember...... when he's saying cruel things.... he's telling you how he really feels.
When he apologizes..... he's saying what he needs to in order to keep you hoping and wishing he'll go back to the way he was before hte marriage (which was roping you in time.)
He conned you into this relationship and now you're in love with the con..... with the person he pretended to be. He was good enough, long enough that he can now do anything he likes and seemingly get away with it.
Or can he?
If you put self care boundaries in place, you won't allow this treatment any more.
When he chose you he began testing your boundaries. One small violation lead to a larger violation and so forth.
If you look back you can probably see it clearly..... making excuses for his behavior and thinking your good intentions and grace could make everything OK.
Please, give him a boundary.
"If you treat me that way again, I will know you don't want to have a relationship with me."
Then proceed to enforce it like a mama bear protecting her young. Be your own mother/enforcer/protector and stop making excuses, wishing and hoping.
Good luck.... I know how difficult this is.
Usually, we don't go until the pain of staying is worse than the pain of going.
People with healthier boundaries don't have to suffer that long.... and they feel entitled to decent treatment.
Why is it that you don't? (((SL)))
