Apology for diagnosing and explanation one more time

[reallyME]

I apologize for what appeared to be my giving CB or anyone else a diagnosis of anything. I most likely should have said that I felt she was twisting things around so that I looked like I was aiming my post at her, when I was not doing so.  I could have said she was being manipulative, but instead I used a psychological word to describe her behavior.  I will be more careful about not using diagnoses in my future posts in other forums.

I merely was trying to point out her covertly abusive behavior of saying I originally AIMED a post AT HER, vs my intention of merely using the baffling behavior in that post, for a thread where I questioned people's behavior similar to hers, of saying NO when they mean YES.  Originally her name was left out to avoid all this, but when someone else assumed I was attacking them, I felt a need to go find the original post, which was CB's and ask her to clear things up. I was SHOCKED when she, instead of merely assuring the person who thought I had read HER post and was referring to it, CB came on here letting the person know that I was AIMING MY POST at CB not her.  I should not have been shocked at that.  It is typical CB behavior, like when she ganged up on me in the past when the people from my past came on here blasting me.  I'm sure they felt very relieved to have her company by their sides.  that was just uncalled for and cruel as far as I'm concerned.

However, nonetheless CB, I apologize to you and everyone else for the pain that this misunderstanding might have caused you.  It is hard for me to be sorry for something that was not originally intended in the way it was interpreted at all.  It was a mere question about general behaviors I had seen that were similar to yours,  not something AIMED directly at you.  You felt it was my AIMING at you for not saying YES, and I'm sorry you felt hurt over that, but no, that was not at all why I posted it.  I'm still sorry for the pain it caused you since you did think it was intentional.  I ask your forgiveness and I also forgive you.

Secondly, DR G said I may give him a link if I ever start my own message board.  So I am going to pm him and give him my link for whomever wants to venture on over to a relatively free-for-all place.  Be aware that it will have a slant toward Spiritual things however.

I agree with Dr G.  It's time for me to go do my own thing now.  His board's purpose is lost on me and has been for some time now.  I'm not a victim anymore.  I came here as one but quickly, with the help of my spiritual mom and others, I have evolved and grown into a preacher, dancer, prophetess, etc...whatever God wants me to do for Him.

Now, I'm at peace.

Very Sincerely His,
~Laura

[reallyME]

Izzy that was a very cruel thing to say to me.

Dr Grossman is permitting me this last day on the board and I have a right to have my say until my time is up.

Can you not offer a man going to the gallows one last meal?  SHEESH!

[Ami]

Izzy --That was low. You would be kicked out of the ring for THAT one!!                                    Ami

[reallyME]

Izzy,

This thread is my apology to CB and the farewell part is dependent upon Dr G banning me from being able to ever post here again.

I have my own forum set up for anyone who might be interested as well.

[Gaining Strength]

Before you leave RM, I wanted to tell you that I have had an experience in my life in which a group of people took up against me.  I did not understand what I had done and no amount of asking ever produced an understanding for me.  I sense that you feel that no one understands what you are going through and why you stand by your decisions and judgments.  I know it is a lonely place and I hope for you that you will be able to get some clarity on this. 

Perhaps, just as an exercise, you can try standing in the shoes of some of those here who had suggested that your original labeling was not appropriate.  I'm not suggesting that you change your position but that you try to stand in their shoes simply to understand  what they are thinking.

I wish you well. - Sincerely, GS

[reallyME]

GS, I understand what others are thinking and I disagree that they have seen things correctly. It is typical of this board, that the members rally around the one who seems to be "picked on" even if that one was in the wrong at one point.

I have made my apology in the truest way I can.  To say it any other way, would be hippocritical on my end.  Saying an apology in a way you don't mean, is no apology at all.  I meant every word above that I said.

i'll leave it at that.

[lighter]

RM... I understand your confusion.

You're not the only one on the board who's dx'd other members.... and yet, you're the only one being banned for it.

Apologies weren't always made by others for dx'ing, nor were they asked for by the good Dr.

I don't know why you're being singled out, exactly, so it's confusing for me too.

It's a puzzle: /

[Gaining Strength]

Lighter – I don’t think you were present for the experience that led to Dr. Grossman’s determination.    Perhaps if you read these you will have a fuller picture. (btw what does DXed mean?)

CB’s post about her very painful experience in court. http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=7141.msg115561#msg115561

Then the entire thread, Considering: why do some people try to refuse help?
http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=7167.10

also: re: "Why are people so upset by labels?" http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=7218.0

Two other threads that would add to your information are:
Why are people so upset by labels (not to be confused with "re: why are people so upset by labels?") http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=7167.0

and How The Board is the Same. http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=7243.0

[lighter]

GS... I read CB's awful day in court.

I read the next RM post about the covert stuff regarding why she thinks people say no to gifts or offers of her support.

I don't understand why RM wasn't just directed away from posting to her, at some point, as is usually the custom here.

Being banned for disagreeing or dx'ing doesn't seem to be typical, is my point.


I have to admit, I may be missing something since I haven't, and won't be, reading more on the subject.

dx means diagnose.

[Overcomer]

I truly believe that Laura was banned not for her diagnosing or for her voice-I believe she was asked to leave because she openly defied the doc.

[papillon]

Hi ReallyMe,

I don't know much of the history here with you, and quite sincerely have no pre-conceived opinions about you or CB at all. But I do know a little something about apologies and VIS.

Firstly RM, I hope you're okay, and hopefully you'll be okay with me sharing with you what I thought when I read your posts and apology on this thread.

To Dr G. It isn't my intention to inflame or criticise here, I just thought to share with RM and the others here how I viewed this thread. Maybe RM will be interested.

ReallyMe, quite openly, I didn't notice any type of apology that would have satisfied me if I were Dr G or CB.

I noticed what appeared to me to be a serious series of criticisms, justifications, and (sorry for this one  ) rants. Rants still specifically directed towards this CB. Some of your posting is also targetting the boardmembers in general, and maybe even Dr G. My immediate thoughts when reading your apology went like this, and it defintely is with no malice intended - just take it or leave it and I wish you well-BEing.

'It is typical of this board, that the members rally around the one who seems to be "picked on" even if that one was in the wrong at one point'.
 But, we're all wrong at some point

'This thread is my apology to CB'  I apologize for what appeared to be my giving CB or anyone else a diagnosis of anything. I most likely should have said that I felt she was twisting things around so that I looked like I was aiming my post at her, when I was not doing so.
I couldn't accept this as an apology.

'I merely was trying to point out her covertly abusive behavior'
I also couldn't accept this in an apology.

'I should not have been shocked at that.  It is typical CB behavior, like when she ganged up on me in the past when the people from my past came on here blasting me.  I'm sure they felt very relieved to have her company by their sides.  that was just uncalled for and cruel as far as I'm concerned.'
I also couldn't accept this in an apology.

'Can you not offer a man going to the gallows one last meal?'
 On whom is she wanting to feed?
I know this last one sounds odd and is probably inaccurate, but that's actually what I immediately thought at the time 

Many genuine well wishes from me to you ReallyMe,

Papillon

[reallyME]

ok Papillon, you are right.  you have no clue of the history of cb or me.  That is the best I can do to even attempt to apologize when I do not feel I have a whole lot to apologize for since my intentions were ignored from the start by CB and others.  I'm sorry it doesn't satisfy you and maybe not others either, but to pour out my heart in a type of apology that I don't mean (different from the one I gave) would be to me, the worst apostasy.

Thanks for your comments.  Normally if the things I did were as wrong as many think, I'd have given an apology more like this:

CB I'm terribly sorry that I hurt you by saying you were a narcissist and I'm sorry that I asked you to get involved in the situation with Gabben and me.  please forgive me.

However, as I explained, CB did me dirty in the way she came on and made it look like I was out to get her to begin with.  I never was.  I'm not like that.

Blessya
~Laura

[papillon]

Thanks for reading my post ReallyMe.

I'm hearing you when you say - 'That is the best I can do to even attempt to apologize when I do not feel I have a whole lot to apologize for since my intentions were ignored from the start..'

Sadly RM, even in 3D life we can't fully read true intentions and motivations in others, nor even in ourselves at times. So is it possible that perhaps, maybe, they weren't ignored by the board?

I recently discovered an extremely unhealthy immature driver/motivation of my own. One I'd viewed as completely the opposite and positive - previously.  That realization blew my mind for weeks, and the world changed, and my historical perceptions and inferences changed as a result!    Life in so often just plain absurd - and so very interesting.

Regardless of how many of yours and CB's historical posts I were to read it wouldn't show me intention. Reaction maybe, pain maybe, grievances maybe, but not intenion. And it's just impossible for me to fully know or be able to rely on your opinion as to what your intentions are or aren't.

All I personally can do here is read your words, see some patterns, and then make my own judgements. My responsibility is to ensure I hear my own opinion too, not just yours. This is cyber world we're communicating in. I'm learning to rely on my own judgements, hopefully.

I can see with your position you've taken that you're trying to do that too. Your judgements for and about you are totally your business. That's all fine with me and I certainly do wish you well.

Papillon

 

[mudpuppy]

However, as I explained, CB did me dirty in the way she came on and made it look like I was out to get her to begin with.

You made a post which referred to her comments on another thread and called those comments 'covert manipulation'.
She said your post was 'aimed' at her. Since it was obviously referring to her that doesn't seem too far off the mark.
That's doing you dirty? How so?
For that you then called her NPD and BPD.
And you then apologize by essentially saying 'I'm sorry you made me describe you as having a personality disorder and that you are so covertly abusive, CB'.
As I said in the thread that was deleted, the world is already full to the brim with judges and judgement, how about adding a little grace instead?

mud

[mudpuppy]

I sincerely believe Laura "gets it"

I'm not trying to kick anyone when they're down and I'm not trying to convince others.
I sincerely believe she doesn't 'get it'. She's the one I'm trying to convince.
If she isn't convinced, that is her right and perogative.

mud