Thanks so much everyone for taking the time out to reply. I’ve found all of the responses
to be just so
incredibly unique interesting, sad, tragic, grief and pain-filled, cute, warm, hopeful, loving.
Collectively though the words that came to mind in me was that I sensed 'tremendous generosity' in all your words. Then add to that the aspect of the total uniqueness of each post - that's where it surely gets quite personal, doesn't it?
Reading these posts constructs some very strong personal feelings, thoughts and perceptions in the reader about the writers, doesn't it?
Thankyou so much everybody
Papillon
Below I've written (maybe too much
for some) about why I chose Papillon. It would be very understandable if you confuse it for a movie review
It'll probably only be of interest to people who liked the movie, but in any case you're most welcome to read.
‘Papillon’ is 'butterfly' in French, although the reason I chose Papillon is really to do with my strong connection with the character of Papillon, the butterfly-tattooed thief and convicted criminal. Although these are not the reasons I connect with him - Note - I'm neither tattooed, nor a thief.
If you don’t know who I’m talking about, there really was an Papillon. Papillon was a french crook called Henri Charričre who acquired the nickname Papillon because he sported a large tattoo of a papillon (french for butterfly) on his chest. He was imprisoned, repeatedly abused and tortured, and finally after many escape attempts, escaped to freedom to write his auto-biographies, one was called 'Papillon', which was made into the movie. The story has been de-bunked as exaggerated or plaguerized, but I still love it.
Papillon’s determination to break free from his prisons and imprisoners connects powerfully with me. I’ve always been my own worst imprisoner, and my prison is and always has been mainly of the emotional nature. Which is both a sad and happy realization for me. I'm pretty much completely my own creation. Papillon’s was of his own creation too, in choosing to use his amazing creativity and intelligence so negatively.
Papillon's "Escape or Bust" attitude is something I have too. Whenever I watch that movie it reminds of so much of me and why I can’t be a Dega. I can't be someone who accomodates to a dreadful situation, and in the end is content to remain safe, though imprisoned on Devil's island. I would rather risk total annihilation than remain anyone’s prisoner, safe or otherwise, even my own.
The scenes where Papillon sits and watches the waves and tides - and finally decodes the timing of the biggest wave. That’s magic. He correctly and cleverly analyzes the exact type and size of the wave he needs, one with the necessary force whose backwash will be sufficient to carry his coconut raft back out past the breakers - out to sea - to freedom - if he times it properly. The ending is in one way so sad, and then so happy, which is often so true in life. If we’re brave enough to risk it, we can have a chance at our own choice of life. And as an adult it may even mean we may have to leave someone or something we love behind. Like Papillon, for me timing and planning was everything.
Papillon tried without success to convince his best friend and sole companion Dega to come with him. Poor Dega was a man with a very delicate nature who'd fragmented under the hardship. I think he'd crossed over into some far away place emotionally where he'd completely accepted his hopeless situation, and was even quite happy living out his solitary confinement on Devil's Island. Also maybe Dega knew that it was a very dangerous escape attempt and it was most likely Papillon would be killed or wouldn’t have a chance if he (Dega) went.
Papillon is driven to be free, and is more than ready to face death rather than just exist, rotting on Devil's Island. It seemed almost like Papillon had a death wish if he couldn’t be free. Then comes that unforgettable image of Pappillon throwing himself over that sheer rugged cliff into the sea, ready to go wherever the sea took him. Dega though was probably right too. He most likely wouldn’t have survived the jump, and if he had he’d have probably gotten into all sorts of trouble in the water, and more than likely been smashed on the rocks, or couldn’t swim, or he’d have probably lost his glasses. Most likely Papillon would have had to turn back to save him, and then they’d most likely both have missed the coconut raft. I have no way to confirm any of this but it’s my fantasy and what I like to think. I think Dega knew the outcome would be bad if he went along, so he chose to stay on Devil’s Island tending his garden and feeding his pigs, happy to know that Papillon made it. So Dega and Papillon part company. In those final scenes when Papillon jumps from that cliff into the water, I jump with him. I decided quite a while ago that I've got to be me, and I've got to be true to me. That way, if for some reason I didn't make it to where I'm going at least I know I tried and never gave up. As with me, all of Papillon's previous escape attempts failed, and he faced dreadful punishment and solitary confinement as a result, but then he finally broke free.
Papillon makes it to his raft, floats away, survives and writes a couple of questionable biographies. I like to imagine that it was Dega’s love and well-wishes that guided Papillon's raft to freedom.
Thanks for reading,
Papillon
