I had a breakthrough ,which started with the Alice Miller thread, so I wanted to share it,here. I got in touch with my rage against my M. Ann, my counselor, helped,also.
Then, I expressed it to my M.
I realized that the 'bad"she put on me, had to go back on her. I realized that I had hated and negated myself for my whole life for being "bad". My best friend helped me to see what "bad" was, exactly. It was taking care of myself, being self protective and having my own power. That was it. That was "bad".
So, I gave that back, symbolically, to my M by telling her that I was not "bad". SHE put all those lies on me and she was getting them back on her,now, where they belonged.
Today, I realized that I don't have to have that deep self hatred anymore. I feel free!!!
When I am really stuck, SOMEONE will come "out of the blue" and give me a special touch.
It has been Iphi,who always wrote words of comfort on my moaning posts, Lise, who came out of the blue , when I was so lost, GS, who felt a special urge to help me with Scott, Kelly,who understood that your inner child just has to moan, sometimes,Bean, who is a buddy,and you,Papillion, who has been through deep,deep healing and has come to the other side.
Thank you so much Ami