bummer

[Hopalong]

I just had my 3rd date with a lovely man I have daydreamed about for weeks, being all sorts of confident that my fond feelings had something to do with the reality of what is possible.

Turns out he drinks too much, is scared to death, can't trust women, and cut us off at the pass.

Better to know now than later but I am sorely sad.

xo
Hops

[Gaining Strength]

Now that is a bummer.  But the good news is that you had three dates.  Would it be worth it to continue dating on a casual level or is that not a possibility?

[Hopalong]

With other people or new people, yes, I'll keep on circulating after some fashion.
This fellow is (internally) unavailable, though.

I shall fling myself into Good Works. 

Thanks for asking, GS...

Hops

[axa]

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Hops,

so sorry for your disappointment.  Well done for having the courage to go dating again, ok,girl, ya just gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.

Maybe this was just meant to be a practise run and I am grateful you figured this out after three days.......thankfully you did not waste three months or three years.

largest hugs ever,

axa

[Ami]

Dear Hops,
 Maybe this was just an "introduction" to get you in to the world of dating. You enjoyed going out and getting to know him. You broke the 'inertia" of not dating for awhile. You realized how much you enjoyed male company, again.
 HE is not the right one for you. That is all .
 I know it is a huge sense of loss b/c you had "hopes", as we all do. S/times the loss of the 'hopes" is  harder than the loss of the  actual person.
 It takes meeting many men to find that special one.
I am sorry you are hurting.                                                              Hugs to you,   Ami


PS This is not related to this man,but I got some books on the differences between men and women and they really, really helped me. Men and woman are very different in many basic ways. I never would have learned these things on my own.For example, men get "cukoo" discussing emotions too much.Women could go on for days , with no problem.
   I have been able to really connect much more deeply when I understood who I was, as a female, and my differences from the male gender. I can appreciate my strengths and the male strengths .
 We are very, very different in many basic ways. I think that is how God made us. If we don't realize this, we ,both, get very frustrated(IMO)

[Overcomer]

Take it from a woman who married a man who said he did not drink and has proved himself a liar-GET AS FAR AWAY AS YOU CAN!  FAST!

[Overcomer]

Oh and by the way-I am sorry it did not work out.

[debkor]

Hops,

Aw that is a bummer.  It is sad and disappointing.  You are so in tune with what you want and what you can't have or will not be acceptable. You are so clear and read every flag that is waving.

You were fond of him and that is perfectly ok but your reality of what is possible is right on too.  He is not available in any way that would/could be for you.  He may be lovely but he has some major issues that were not yours and you do not want to adopt them as your own.  You are thinking really healthy Hops. I'm very proud of you.
 

Yes it is sad and a let down but this shall pass and I have no doubt you will meet someone that you can love and love will returned.  A healthy relationship. 

Hugs to you.  It still  hurts but better now then later is right.

Love
Deb