Another side of it...
it was kind of a shock to see this man whom I trusted and even loved (before it felt romantic) be drunk, slurring his words, ranting about this and that (using the F word) and raging about women...his ex, hypothetical litigious ex clients (that was where his fear kicked in) and by extension, I guess, me.
It was sad and in some way I haven't fully allowed myself to feel yet, it was hurtful.
I did not deserve that.
Perhaps I should have never told him I'd like to see him socially.
(Speaking of boundaries, TT.) So I have some guilt, too...I know the rules.
Jeez. I don't know if it's an Ntrait in me (oh those pesky rules, surely they wouldn't apply to special me). Except I never ever asked for him to transgress the rules. I just asked him what they were, and he told me, and then after a year and a half...he called me.
Trying to measure my level of accountability and sort out the guilt I'm suddenly feeling.
I feel as though I hurt him by stirring a sleeping beast. (He's no beast, I just mean, he is a vulnerable human being too, not a robot.)
Help?
Perspectives very welcome.
thanks,
Hops