Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Bi-sexuality

(1/5) > >>

Onyx:
Well it's official! According to the 'Daily Mirror' newspaper here in the UK, a third of women who club it are bi-sexual!! Having carried out extensive research......(yeah right....lol), the Mirror is gushing the news with banner headlines and personal interviews with the gals.

Now I'd kind of gotten the message that being a little Bi and owning a Gucci handbag were pretty much one and the same thing these days! A definate 'must have' on a girls fashionable CV, but I hadn't figured on the shear percentage number involved! Of course the Mirror is a rag....a tabloid...but it's not the worst! So there probably is a degree of truth in what they spout....right?

Programmes such as 'Sex and the City' had re-inforced the evolution of women in today's world. You know, the kind of ballsy girl who downs pints like the best of them and hunts in packs in the clubs on a Saturday night. I've always had the impression that the feminist brigade are major script writers for these type of shows. On the one hand preaching 'Death to all Men', whilst on the other insisting women behave in exactly the same manner as the feminists have condemed men for! Laugh a minute stuff!

Anyway, the Mirror's findings have got me thinking. Sure they may be way out, but what if they're not? What if secretly or subconsciously, a women really deep down doesn't want to be in relationship with her man but feels obliged by convention to do so? What if she's a 'closet' bi-sexual girl who is having to hide or suppress her needs or desires? What if she's actually lesbian, but could never face that fact? What if her biological needs, her hormones, are keeping her trapped in a relationship if for no other reasons than children? What if she really doesn't have a clue who she really is because of it? God the questions are abounding in my head.....what if.....!

In such circumstances, wouldn't the relationship or marriage that this girl was in be experiencing difficulties? Wouldn't it be at least slightly more difficult for their partner to understand them? Wouldn't disagreements tend to be more frequent? Wouldn't fear of exposure or denial haunt the relationship? Wouldn't things be just a little more awkward? I wonder how many women over the years have been trapped in this situation desperate to get out, whilst morally feeling wrong for doing because society said so?

Could it be that a degree of arguments between men and women in relationships mask a sexual issue and that women confuse this? I wonder how many relationships have broken down into desperate fighting, but for reasons consciously unknown to both parties! On the surface the issues have been this or that, but deep down and very different reasons, his frustration levels are rising boardering on anger? I wonder how many frustrated spouses there must be as a result of all this. How many angry people are there who either don't know what's really going on or on the other hand, are supressing it!

I know that if i was married and either secretly homosexual or subsconsciously so, my relationship with my woman would be strained to say the least! Open to conflict, disagreement and disrespect; I would expect this at the very least! I would be engendering so much anger as a result of my supressed feeling towards my partner. I would probably driving her crazy in the confussion of it all! I would be creating anger and pain in another that loves me, but can't figure out what's going on!

Could the above shed a little more light on why couples inflict mental cruelty on each other? Could this partly explain why one partner behaves so badly to the other? Could this in part be the reason why we can't understand our partner?

It kinda gets one thinking!

Anonymous:
Onyx,

I seriously doubt that most women are bisexual. I also seriously doubt that repressed bisexuality is the cause of most marital problems.

If you've had relationships with bisexual women, it is probably due to ignoring their general instability. Instability can be manifested as sexual promiscuity with one or both sexes.

And yes, there may be a fad for young women to 'experiment' with other women but this is not the same as true bisexuality.

bunny

Nic:
Hello Onyx,
Certainly people are more complex than sexuality which is also a very complex issue.
I have been on both sides of the fence and am confirmed Gay at this stage of the game.  It was complicated enough to teetter-totter between the two.  I would agree that experiencing both sides if one is inclined is acceptable if not necessary, however, we are people first before we are staight, gay or bi-..I opt for fidelity and committment and ultimately INTIMACY in a relationship.
I think the whole idea of commercializing sex is wrong and is the product of a bored and spoiled post-modern society that is looking out rather than looking in.  One need only look at the fall of the Roman Empire as an example of this.
I can confirm one thing though, either straight, gay or bi, everyone's wish, secret or not, is to be loved,treasured and nurtured by that one very special person.  We all must keep this universal ideal alive in my opinion, lest we find ourselves alone and lonely.  WE must take the risk of growing up, owning up to that very basic need to be loved.
Percentage, schmercentage I say..
The cause of marital problems? maybe and sometimes. Cruelty? I don't think so especially if you're in a mature setting where people don't play games.
Bi sexualtiy as a Mega-trend..well for sure, the idea came from a tabloid! It's a suggestion to the public that this is the sexuality du jour..easier than personalizing your own relationship..mass hysteria like.
Interesting topic though,
nice to meet you Onyx, all the best
Nic :D

Onyx:
Well written Nic, it's good to have your view on the subject as it gives balance to the thought.

Sex and sexual identity issues have been probably with since time began. And on the subject of the Romans, there's some fine example of sexual....erm......issues. I've always loved the story of jow Caligula (think I've spelled is correctly) used to be even handed to with both sexs, especially the story of the marrying couple!

We live in times of sexual bombardment. Never before has sooooo much sex being thrusted at us. Mags and newspaper aside, TV has gone wild giving us our daily dose of voyeurism! Even the advertisements spout sex to sell! It's bloody amazing how far and fast things are changing. We're being programmed by the guys in grey as to how to live our lives!

It's up to the individual to decide what best suits them when it comes to who they really are. After all, you have to live at ease in your own shoes. But the issues concerning 'coming out' when you're actually in a relationship with a person or the opposite sex must be hellish for both concerned! The unhappyness must know no bounds until the truth is out! Whether gay or lesbian, it must be one hell of a struggle in such situatoins. Mind bending stuff for the people involved!

It's the 'Gucci Handbag' fashion conscious types; the trendy BI's that I refer to in my posting. If what the Mirror is peddling is in the 'Ball Park' of being correct, it's staggering. In a relationship, one was aware of another male taking an interest in one's girlfriend. Now you have to pay more attention to her girlfriends :lol: ! It's sooo bizarre! It's bad enough having to work hard on you relationship/marriage these days. But it soooo much harder these days due to the shear scale of influence outside forces have upon it!

I'm feeling old these days, very old! I feel as if I'm turning into a dinosaur, age is catching up with me...and fast! I really pity how our children are being so Brainwashed by the media boys and girls. I actually do feel angry at what they're being denied! It's moved way beyond looking good and saying the right things in order to be noticed. So Narcissistic is modern day life becoming, it's getting harder to define the differences!

I wonder if it's a good or bad thing? I wonder what the consequences will be in say...20 years time!

Onyx

Anonymous:
Nic said:
--- Quote ---I think the whole idea of commercializing sex is wrong and is the product of a bored and spoiled post-modern society that is looking out rather than looking in. One need only look at the fall of the Roman Empire as an example of this.
--- End quote ---

Big agreement Nic. How decadent we seem.

Onyx said:
--- Quote ---Could the above shed a little more light on why couples inflict mental cruelty on each other? Could this partly explain why one partner behaves so badly to the other? Could this in part be the reason why we can't understand our partner?
--- End quote ---

Hi Onyx, I think couples inflict mental cruelty on each other because they both *choose* to stay in the relationship. But people often stay together because they’re very afraid of being alone and having to face their ‘demons’ on their own. They look for a partner not because they’re interested in that person, but because they think they *get something* from them – someone to shout at, someone to bully, someone they think is inferior who they can criticise to make them feel good…the list goes on.

One partner may behave badly towards another because they’re not looking for a grown-up relationship. The badly behaved partner is looking for someone to perhaps mistreat as they themselves have been mistreated in the past. And the ‘good’ partner who stays? Thinks the only way they can survive is when they are being mistreated. People are like this, you know, they really are. This is why abused woman stay “because he loves me really”. They can genuinely believe that being hit etc is a sign of love.

Some of the time I think we can’t understand our partners because they don’t understand themselves. Or we don’t understand ourselves!


--- Quote ---What if she really doesn't have a clue who she really is because of it?
--- End quote ---
Whether I had sex with a man or a woman, it wouldn’t determine who I am. Who I am is about a lot more than sexual preference. Like political, religious, moral views for example. Or being extrovert/introvert. Or being kind to people or cruel to them. If I have sex with myself does that make me gay? You know how Eddie Izzard labels his sexuality? – he says he’s a male lesbian which I guess comes as close as possible to how he sees his sexuality!

Onyx….please stop reading the Mirror, it’ll rot your brain! Just like watching Big Brother rots the brain: it actually eats brain cells, :shock:  I read that in The Sun. :D

Stay away from the Gucci gals is the answer. I do. I hate fashion, always have done. Now I’m like a social outcast. I don’t go for material ‘stuff’. I’m so glad the Americans don’t know who Posh and Becks are!

The media have been brainwashing us in the West since the 50s. They’ve perfected it. Now they’re conquering the rest of the world. Glamour models in bars in India giving away free ciggies. Everyone wants the ‘American dream’. And so on. Ya gotta live your own life at some point and not give a toss what other people think about you, haven’t you? P

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page