Hi Ashya,
I'm still catching up after a time away. I can really empathize with the N in the workplace problem. I had a coworker who targetted me from the beginning. She came on too strong wanting to be friends, she would badmouth the boss to all of us, then flirt with him (he was very susceptible, she was married, I was shocked), and badmouth all of us to him. "I don't know why they don't like me, boss" then bat the eyelashes. It really worked! I was her main competitor (in sales). So character assassination was the name of the game.
I thought my performance would be enough to protect me. Basically it was, although the atmosphere was really polluted with hostility. I finally quit. It turned out that upper mgmt was aware of my boss's shortcomings and this was what they needed to dump him--
look, you couldn't hold onto one of our top performers. As for the weirdo, she was told to take a hike by boss's replacement, that is,
I'm not here to listen to your crap. And I learned the only way out of a bad situation with an N is to leave. (Even her H asked her why she couldn't leave me alone
!)
In another situation, two Ns teamed up as a formidable power. They backed each other up to bully workers who didn't cooperate with them. They were good enough for management to want to hang onto.
Bottom line is: look to see what your manager's relationship is with upper management. If it's solid, then you can leave or you can adapt. If it's shaky, you can decide to wait it out or leave. But management really frowns on badmouthing the boss. You will look bad even if you are right. If it's a serious management issue (boss is hurting the company) and you can document it and get a united front with coworkers who are willing to step forward as a group, you might have a chance to oust her. But this is really drastic. Who knows? Maybe your boss is the CEO's wife's tennis partner or something. Or they don't really value your dept. or they had trouble finding someone to fill this position. Look beyond just the two of you to see what upper management sees.
The only time I know of mutiny working is when a VP was sexually harassing SEVERAL women very openly. Five female DIRECTORS (IE highly paid management) went to the top together and said this VP is a walking LAWSUIT that will cost the CEO & co. $$$$$$$ if they didn't get rid of him. This VP was a tight friend of the CEO. But it worked. CEO doesn't like losing money unnecessarily.
So unless you can prove that this pain is costing the company money, they'll chalk your problems up to a personality clash. ON the bright side, sometimes a change is a really great thing. I left the company that I clung to because it was so "hip" and went on to double my salary and was treated with way more respect at my new job.
Hope this helps. I agree with Guest who posted below. Don't bang your head against a brick wall. Keep a low profile and change jobs while you still have good standing. Don't look to what will bring her down, look to what will bring you up. Just wanted to share my experiences with you because this is a big workplace issue. Also, go to bullying online for a discussion of this behavior in the workplace. Good luck.
