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Dumb question?

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Dawning:
ashya,

I hope you are feeling better.  By the way, I like your name.   :)  

I would like to comment about the book recommendation and what Phoenix mentioned:


--- Quote ---The description of the little girl at the start , who was thought retarded, put through a variety of tests, then determined gifted - that is exactly what happened to me in 2nd grade. I will have to get this book.
--- End quote ---


Think I'll roust myself into errand-running/shopping mode today and whistle a little because I am not the only one.   :)  :oops:  :(   This is exactly what happened to me too!!!   :shock:  I remember taking a "variety of tests" in the 2nd grade.  From 2nd grade to 8th grade (7- 13 years old) I was in the gifted program (until the funding stopped) and then honors in high school and graduated from college with an honor's degree.  I do think that Nmom's fears while she was pregnant with me which escalated into her fears that I was retarded until the age of 7 resulted in a pretty weird program that still runs: the program that says I am bad, flawed, weird, crazy, not like *other* people - argh!  I will definitely check out this book.  Thanks for the recommmendation, BT, and thanks Phoenix for sharing your story - it has helped validate my own similar experience but I am sorry that you had to live through this too.  I know that I have acted out my frustrations of not being *as good as* others in many situations in my life.  And when certain people pick up on these insecurties (or I feel they do...HSP?) it make me even more sensitive...and afraid to be myself.  

This term (HSP) has me intrigued.   Never heard of it before.

BlueTopaz:
Hi Phoenix,

I’m so glad you related so well to it.   Isn’t it something to discover!!!   The validation, and  knowing allllll the different ways that you feel and experience things, can actually be part of the trait (author describes it as such) of high sensitivity.   This book really helped me understand myself sooooo much.    

HS people truly do experience the world, and “life” quite differently.  

She has also written “The Highly Sensitive Person In Love”, related to how HS people handle relationships.    

My xN was also a HSP.    

I’m sorry for what you went through in school.   The good thing is that it was finally recognized that you are gifted.    It was similar for me.    At so young, I had no idea how to deal with the way I experienced feelings and the environment, and I acted up constantly as a result, and did poorly in grade school.  They couldn’t figure out what my “problem” was.  

That the prob. was not in the area of a deficit only came out in grade five, when we were asked to write a short story.   I penned mine off very easily, and innocently thought everyone was writing like I was.   The teacher was floored at the quality and maturity of what I wrote, and called my parents immediately.   I was too shy to read my own story to the class, so another classmate had to read it hehe…  

If you feel you might be HS (and many, many gifted people are) I think this book will really help you.   I can honestly say that it has changed my life.    

Another thing, is that it is not uncommon for HS people find it difficult to work full time.   Not all HSP’s (there are extrovert HSP’s who can handle more stimulation).    I think I am the former, and this is another thing worrying me about the upcoming job.   Prior, for years, I was working 3-4 days, 6 hours/day.   The new thing will be full time.   A huge change.

I am not one to throw out diagnoses randomly, but I truly believe that my mother, who is very HS, actually suffered PTSD because of staying years on a job that her physiology just could not handle, because of the HS trait.   Elaine talks about this (being in jobs that go agains our physiology).  

My mother was depressed for years while working (situational not biochemical in origin), and always talked about how much she disliked her job.   She had a great paying gov. job and wanted to put in the required years for a good pension, so she trudged on.   I think it nearly killed her.

She retired a year ago, and right afterward she began losing a dangerous amount of weight , not eating or sleeping, feeling agitated a lot, emotionally exhausted….    She became very sick, with nothing physically diagnosable.   Only now, over a year later, is she beginning to be herself again, both in character and physiology…    I truly think it is PTSD from submitting her physiology to over-stimulation, and her emotional self to an unfit enviroment for so long.

This book really taught me that I don’t need to be ashamed of not wanting to live the same life as “the masses”.   I don’t have to think there is something “wrong” with me.   In North America (& maybe other places-it is just that I know NA) if you don’t live, work, “play” a certain way, you can easily be noticed in the negative, as different.    

For the first time ever, I really saw the value in my uniqueness, and that I should celebrate what it gives me.  It's actually very special to be a HSP  :)    It is work to undo the other mindset, but the book gives a true grounding reference point to build on.  

Here are some links to HS discussion forums, as well.   The last one is my group.  It started out as for HS singles wanting to meet other HS singles, but I have expanded it to include general HS discussions.    

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/hspbook/

http://www.sensitiveperson.com/directry.htm

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HighlySensitiveSingles/?yguid=169057775

Enjoy the book  :D    

BT

phoenix:
bye

BlueTopaz:
Which is why I am so frustrated working at jobs that don't come near to challenging my natural talents, or come close to any fulfillment.

BT- that is so true for me about not being able to work fulltime. That is so interesting.I just can't. I have worked at two different jobs part time to remedy this. If I could do what I really want, then I know that time would stand still and I would be fully enveloped in what I am doing.But working the 9-5 routine drives me to - well pretty much to my destruction. I understand the depression you express about your mother. Along time ago I fell into the rut of waitressing, just because of this. The shifts are usually 4-5 hours, and you are so busy there is no time to think.


Quadruple  "ditto" to all!   Yesss....   It is all exactly the same here, with everything you wrote above.   I am only hoping to stay at this one a few months because of the full time thing...  I'm  freaked out about that part, too.

I have started a self-business that is really doing what I love, but I need to supplement income right now.  It takes time to build.  

BT

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