Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Adult Siblings Who Were Raised in Narcissitic Families
Anonymous:
"imo" = in my opinion
For clarification, my brother isn't a half-brother, but a regular brother.
bunny
Ishana:
Jenocidal,
I just wanted to say that my brother maintains my stepmother sexually abused him from the time he was very young until he left home at 16 years old. I have no doubt he is telling the truth. He self-identifies as gay. I wonder in what ways -if any - his childhood sexual abuse affects love life. He also was the "favorite." His life has been horrible (not because he's gay, but because of the deep and lasting psychological pain he has endured due to his abuse) and I do not envy your brother in any way. I don't think you will need to intervene...I think, as Bunny said, you should just be there in case he comes to you for support at some point. If an occassion arises you should be clear that you do not support such behavior (your brother and mother sleeping together.)
Another interesting thought I have is that my N stepmother was "taken to her father's bed" from the time she was 12 until she left home in her early 20's. Her father was clearly Narcissistic. She also had a great deal of privilege and always had a great deal of power over her mother, even until her mother died in her old age. She idolizes her father to this day, even beyone his death. By all accounts he probably murdered two of his sons when they were young...under age 2 yrs old from physical abuse. My stepmother was the only girl. She is clearly mentally ill from her horrible childhood and youth.
Is it common for Narcissistic adults to sexually abuse children?
I am glad you are out of the situation also and that you found your way here. Take care, Jen.
Ishana
Jenocidal:
Another interesting thought I have is that my N stepmother was "taken to her father's bed" from the time she was 12 until she left home in her early 20's. Her father was clearly Narcissistic. She also had a great deal of privilege and always had a great deal of power over her mother, even until her mother died in her old age. She idolizes her father to this day, even beyone his death. By all accounts he probably murdered two of his sons when they were young...under age 2 yrs old from physical abuse. My stepmother was the only girl. She is clearly mentally ill from her horrible childhood and youth.
Is it common for Narcissistic adults to sexually abuse children?
I am glad you are out of the situation also and that you found your way here. Take care, Jen.
Ishana
=========
Hello Ishana. Thank-you for your response. I wonder if it would be wrong of me to ask my brother if mother has touched him. Is that my place? My brother treats my mother with no respect. He discards her with ease. He is a Narcissist himself, my own mother has made comments to me that she has recently seen how fragile my brothers ego is, and she thought all along that he had an abundance of healthy self esteem. Which would be hilariously ironic if it weren't so sad to ponder. My brother never helps my mother out when she's in "'need". I always offered to help my mother move, cos she needed help. And I was even ill with my intestinal disease, I'd still help. And my healthy, strong brother wouldn't lift a finger. She fulfilled his every need and want. Even wiped his ass for him until he was 6 yrs old (that's when I ran away to start a real life at age 16, so who knows how long the ass wiping went on for). She was one of those mothers that breast fed her child for too long (I think he was passed the age of 2 and she was still doing it), perhaps this is where her dependancy to my brother began. Just this year, before her and I ended our relationship, she happily told me that recently my brother, while sleeping late at night in the same bed as my mother as usual, rolled over and tried to breast feed. She said it surprised her. Another incident that just popped into my head as I am typing this.... My mother found some porn my little brother (16 yrs old at the time) made of himself with his 16 yr old gf. She thought it was great! She bragged about it to me on the phone. Like it was something a mother should be proud of. I mean, I could tell her I got an A on my sociology paper and it would go in one ear and out the other... my little brother makes some porn of himself and my mother brags with fervor. -scarey thoughts-[/b]
Moonflower:
...
flower:
Ishana Thanks for starting this thread . Hope things get easier between you and your sister.
Moonflower said:
--- Quote ---If anyone else here gets the chance to sever relations with a Nparent, I say go for it. Get your sanity back.
--- End quote ---
Sounds good to me. :)
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