Part of my trip, was that I always thought "normal" folk did without - that as humans we were SUPPOSED to stiffen our upper lips, carry on like stoics, never admit to difficulty or pain, or wanting to just give up!! (think the images of the Marlboro Man - Clint Eastwood - John Wayne and you see why this is linked to my smoking...)
Wow what a clear image!! I see precisely why that is linked to your smoking. My father taught me to be tough and I believed the same thing. It was when I finally realized that that sort of thinking had left me out in the cold that suddenly I KNEW that we needed others and there I was all alone - unloved and at the time unlovable. (I don't see myself as unloveable now but this has been a 20 year evolution with many wrong term - a whole other subject/thread.)
It doesn't have to be a solitary task; you are deserving of encouragement, reassurance, validation and cheers of joy at your progress (which is pretty dang good in the past month, isn't it??) Sharing the "goodness" of life with each other is one of the main tasks of being human... so I'm holding out my hand to you, GS... we can do this, and I'm very impressed with what you've done so far. Your obstacles - your parents - were so much greater than mine. But, together - what this site is all about - we can all heal.
It doesn't have to be and I don't believe (at least for me) that it can be a solitary task. I love the way you put it that sharing the goodness is one of the main tasks of being human. I have recently begun to see that but the way you phrase it is absolutely beautiful. I am thankful for understanding this and pray that this is the message I can give my son. My parents, being shamed based, did encourage us to be highly social but only with select people. Those people rejected me 15 or 20 years ago (for good reason I finally understand) and that has left me high and dry. But Now I am getting all of this and believe that things are changing right under me feet.
I definitely believe that this place is a healing, supporting, validation, etc place. It has been for me. And I am FINALLY seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and it is bright and it is near. And I am thankful.
