Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries 1. Telling all.
2. Talking at an intimate level at the first meeting.
3. Falling in love with a new acquaintance.
4. Falling in love with anyone who reaches out.
5. Being overwhelmed by a person - preoccupied.
6. Acting on the first sexual impulse.
7. Being sexual for your partner, not yourself.
8. Going against personal values or rights to please others.
9. Not noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries.
10. Not noticing when someone invades your boundaries.
11. Accepting food, gifts, touch, or sex that you don't want.
12. Touching a person without asking.
13. Taking as much as you can get for the sake of getting.
14. Giving as much as you can give for the sake of giving.
15. Allowing someone to take as much as they can from you.
16. Letting others direct your life.
17. Letting others describe your reality.
18. Letting others define you.
19. Believing others can anticipate your needs.
20. Expecting others to fill your needs automatically.
21. Falling apart so someone will take care of you.
22. Self-abuse.
23. Food and chemical abuse.
Melody Beattie (1987) believes that setting limits (boundaries) is not an isolated process -- she writes as follows: "Setting boundaries is about learning to take care of ourselves, no matter what happens, where we go, or who we're with.
Boundaries are rooted in our beliefs about what we deserve and what we don't deserve.
Boundaries originate from a deeper sense of our personal rights - especially the right we have to be ourselves.
Boundaries emerge as we learn to value, trust and listen to ourselves.
Boundaries naturally flow from our conviction that what we want, need, like and dislike is important."
Personal limits are not about controlling, or changing, other people's behavior. In fact, they're not about other people at all.
They're about you, and what you need to do to take care of yourself.
Love to all,
Leahhttp://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=7027