THis is a post from a new person who doesn't quite understand how the site works.
Hi
Thanks so much for responding to my message. I am not sure how to even post anything......oh well I will get there in the end I'm sure.
The problem that I have is that like many people I come from a reasonably disfunctional family in particular I have a Nacissistic mother ( I am diagnosing this) who has caused a great deal of pain and trauma over the years. It has now come to the point where I have decided to totally disconnect from her, unfortunately this also includes my 2 children aged 9 and 4 years. I was hoping (stupidly) that we could sort something out as I didn't want to deprive them of their Grandmother but in doing this she would have to accept some resposibility for her behaviour, this I now know to be impossible for her to do.
She has now threatened to take legal action so that she can gain visitation rights, I don't know if she will carry through with this or not, I feel that she is not suitable to be in their lives but I am not sure what to do.
How do you disconnect from your mother? Should I even do that?
Should I allow her to see the children or not?
How do I deal with the emotional fall out from this?
Etc, etc, etc.
My head is spinning, my heart is pounding and my stomach is churning and I don't know who to talk to or even if I can.
My husbands point of view is to just be rational and disconnect from her just like that, as in his opinion (which I know to be correct), "she is just a nut bag". Unfortunately it isn't a cut and dry thing and nor do I want it to be. I feel like I can't breathe.
This is a lot to lay on a total stranger. Maybe you could cut and paste it into a forum........Where would I post this myself?
At the momment it's a bit of "not waving......drowning"
Thank you for offering your ear
Moon
Moon joined yesterday and wanted to know how this site worked. She e-mail me for advice and the above was in response to my mail back. I'm at work right now and need to think more before I respond further. But as you can read, she's in troubled times with her mother.
Anyone got any thoughts?
Onyx
