memories

[seasons]

I have been going over this in my mind, another memory.

When I was about 16 my brother and I were having a quick cup of coffee together during our break, next door to our family business.

It was very unusual for him to spend time with me. As we sat there he all of a sudden, out of the blue said,

"seasons, if something happened to mom and dad who would you CHOOSE TO LIVE WITH, NARCISSISTIC #1 OR NARCISSTICE #2
SISTER."

Hi did not call them narcissistic, but by name with a big grin on his face. Like oh boy your life would S### with either one.

I was horrified, because this was one of my biggest fears, them. They always tried to act like authority figures to me.

Why did he ask me such a sick question? He wouldn't of wanted to be in their care either if he were underage?

It was like a joke to him, he wasn't their victim I was. He saw that? And rejoiced in it, why?

He enjoyed to see me so VULNERABLE to them. How did he know my biggest nightmare? I thought it was my secret.
seasons remembering way back how I wanted NC for survival. Of course at the time not knowing from what?

[Hopalong]

Brothers, ugh.

I'm afraid I don't automatically associate the word "brother" with someone who loves you, either.

Except for Brother Mud, of course.

Hops

[Iphi]

seasons could it be that he also felt it would be a nightmare if he himself was in such a position and that is how he guessed how you felt? 

It sounds perhaps like he took comfort in reassuring himself that he was safe unlike you.  That he was a lucky one.  My sister likes to let me know that bad things that happen to me happen because I am me, and because she is her, those things could never happen to her and she would never be the way I am.  Conversely it bugs her when good things happen to me - probably because her own 'logic' has painted her into a corner.

So if we really wanted to be annoying to our sibs, next time something good happens we should reflect out loud to them that it was probably because god likes us so much and we are special. 

[seasons]

Thanks Iphi,
You are probably right. He acted that way in many situations, now that I think back.

So if we really wanted to be annoying to our sibs, next time something good happens we should reflect out loud to them that it was probably because god likes us so much and we are special. 

Funny, one of my N sisters says she is going to heaven by jet, saintly figure she is. LOL
So that would turn into an argument on who is getting their first of course the N will.            oxox seasons


Oh ((Hops )) I know a sore spot those brothers. seasons

[James]

Seasons.......my take on this is that your brother was not as strong and humane as you are. He may have projected his own fear on you in order to not feel how vulnerable he was. Thats cruel and IMO reveals his weakness rather than strength. He fooled himself but not you...........i see you as standing your own ground.........james

[Ami]

Dear Seasons
  James explanation makes a lot of sense to me. I am so glad that you are sharing your memories, Seasons. For me, the more I share, the more burdens lessen.    Love   Ami

((((((Seasons))))))

[spyralle]

Hey Seasons,

You just really made me stop and think.  My brother never showed me support with Nmum...  In fact he joined in... maybe James is right.  It would make sense because there was a vunerabiity in my brother that always made me in fear for him even though I was getting the flack..  I need to think about this more..  Thanks

Syralle xxx