Author Topic: I think I am slipping into depression  (Read 5293 times)

Overcomer

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I think I am slipping into depression
« on: May 03, 2008, 08:53:23 AM »
I have so many things to be happy about-I am going to be a grandma-My new business is picking up-my house just got sided and painted-the pool will be open in a week.  But I am sinking.  I am exhausted.  I am not PMS right now.  I am on the verge of tears.  I watched my H get drunk yet again last night-I did not get that other job.  They do not even want me as a waitress at the new restaurant.  I am overweight and am probably the only lap band patient that it has not worked on.  I am sinking!
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Overcomer

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Re: I think I am slipping into depression
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2008, 08:59:34 AM »
Even Trina said to me that she could tell I felt trapped.  She just knew it.  I am going to my doc who prescribes alternative ways to get better-natural hormone replacement etc.  But she also has a prophetic gift-last time I was there she told me my destiny was starting so unfold.  I had hope but that was a year and a half ago.  I want a reason to get up in the morning.  I want to respect my H but I do not.  He has me walking on egg shells sometimes.  I am just not happy!  I felt this way once.
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Hopalong

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Re: I think I am slipping into depression
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2008, 09:00:05 AM »
(((((((((((((Kelly))))))))))))))

Arms around you, spongey shoulders ready, ears here.
I am so sorry you're blue and no wonder.

You must be profoundly exhausted.
So much stress and striving and a drunken husband and autistic child and rejection from a job hunt.

Honey, the hunt is like that...please hear this:

Being rejected during job hunts is NORMAL.
It is not because you are you.
It is because you are not the right fit for that job, and vice versa.

Don't give up.
Love yourself.
Eat some of Ami's miracle stuff every morning. (www.herbdoc.com, superfood plus)

And pick up that newspaper and look for your next interview.
Consider each and every one simply PRACTICE for the one that clicks both ways.

Many hugs,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Overcomer

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Re: I think I am slipping into depression
« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2008, 09:09:48 AM »
Thanks Hops.  Plus we have a new computer system at work and tensions are running high and have been all week!  What I need is to get off the freight train and slow down.  I need to be a stay at home mom and that will happen with my now business.  Problem is after being at a high stress job all day I have no energy to keep going.  My health is bad.  I just want a breakthrough so I can remove the major stressor and that is working with my mom!
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Overcomer

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Re: I think I am slipping into depression
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2008, 09:23:26 AM »
Plus I just realized something-my dad is dying.  He told me yesterday that he wished the Lord would just take him home.
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Certain Hope

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Re: I think I am slipping into depression
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2008, 09:35:25 AM »
((((((((((((((Kelly)))))))))))))) I am so sorry about all this.

What in the world is going on with your dad? If he has given up on life and told you that, I can sure see how that feeling can be very contagious.
Can you talk with him or with your pastor about his situation ?

Love,
Carolyn

Overcomer

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Re: I think I am slipping into depression
« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2008, 10:02:21 AM »
My dad had his first heart thing at my age.  Now he is 74 and he cannot walk across the room without shooting nitro codes his tongue.  He is in bad shape.  Everyone loves him!
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

teartracks

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Re: I think I am slipping into depression
« Reply #7 on: May 03, 2008, 11:21:06 AM »





Kelly,

Dear one, I'm so sorry there is no one in 3 - D to help you with all the burdens weighing you down.   In as much as is possible, I want to help you carry your burdens.  From where I am right now, the one thing I know I can do is pray.  Sounds like you and Dad need each other right now.  Tell us more about him and anything you care to tell us about your relationship with him.

tt


seasons

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Re: I think I am slipping into depression
« Reply #8 on: May 03, 2008, 11:27:28 AM »


Dear Kelly,

I am so sorry to hear of all your pain you are going through, reaching out with a big hug of love.

I'm tired for you, I hope you can take care of your health, body and soul. Your return will be so much, rest, clear mind and strength to deal with all you have on your plate right now.

I'm sorry to hear of you fathers illness, I will pray for you both.  seasons

"Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak Kindly. Leave the Rest to God."
Maya Angelou

dandylife

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Re: I think I am slipping into depression
« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2008, 12:42:42 PM »
Overcomer,

Does anyone ever give you some Kelly time? Where you are the focus of attention completely? Exchange massages with your hubby or take a bubble bath. You can squeeze out 30 min. of Kelly time per day, you can. You need to. Or you will burn out. Please start doing it today. Meet with a nutritionist to determine your food choices that are keeping you from meeting your goals. Sometimes what we eat can affect the way we feel, as well. If you can't do that, then keep a food diary for 5 days, and determine where you're diverting from your goals.

If none of this helps, do see your doctor and tell him/her what you are feeling. Work together to determine a solution for you. You are worth it.

(((Overcomer)))

Dandylife
"All things not at peace will cry out." Han Yun

"He who angers you conquers you." - Elizabeth Kenny

spyralle

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Re: I think I am slipping into depression
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2008, 01:08:58 PM »
Oh Kelly xxxxxxx

That is so much to bear...  I know what that sinking feeling is like, but you know what, you know it is happening so that is a bonus.. Just try and give yourself some time and space to do something to take care of yourself..  It's hard in that place to give yourself care but so vital..  and keep talking to friends so you know you are not alone especialy here where people understand

Spy xxxxxxxxx

Overcomer

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Re: I think I am slipping into depression
« Reply #11 on: May 03, 2008, 02:51:13 PM »
Crying.  Trying to hold it all together. My d and her h are moving into their condo today so I just went to buy them toilet paper and mustard and all that kinda stuff.
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Ami

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Re: I think I am slipping into depression
« Reply #12 on: May 03, 2008, 03:57:39 PM »
(((((((((((Kelly)))))))))))                Love   Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

debkor

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Re: I think I am slipping into depression
« Reply #13 on: May 03, 2008, 06:15:43 PM »
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,

Although you think that you have not accomplished what you set out to do, I think you have. It's just loose ends needing to be tied all together and sometimes one moves slower then the other or all of them move slooowww but you really did do it.

lets see:

Lap Band, Done, check, just need more time, work in progress.

New Job, Done, check,  although not hired yet, neither was I, but you will be. Work in progress

Raised a beautiful D and happily married with baby on the way and GMa in the waiting.  Everything anyone hopes for,  Done, Check, beautiful grand child work in progress.

Business out of home so you can be a stay at home  mom, work in progress, Done Check

House siding, painting, pool being opened, done, Check


So Kell what is next on your list that you need to do and start.   You already started the others (did, done) and waiting for the results.  Sometimes they flow in slow then one right after the other but they do come.

 
Look at everything I wrote.  I'd say thats a lot.  Give yourself some credit here.  And no sinking.  If your tired then your tired nothing wrong with that. And if you want to cry then cry.

Do you think you do not deserve to feel for yourself.  Go ahead.  You...... are....... tired and that is alright. 

You want Hope, Kell, your looking at it, it's you hon.  Your solving your own problems from your own hope and faith, See it,  I see it. 

You are Hope Kelly, don't be silly, look at the list and that was from your mouth, your actions and you did do all those things just very slow on results.  Same happens with me.  You can't rush time it will come when it comes.

Don't shut down Kell.  Rest and shutting down are two different things and it is perfectly fine to take a rest.  You have done quite a bit.  Rest time. 

Well, Kell, I don't know what to say but just everything you have DONE makes me tired just to read it.  It is not you Kelly it's timing and that you cannot control.  Don't beat yourself up over nothing you have control over.  You set out what you needed to do wanted to do, so yes, you have done it.  Time can be long and feel cruel but there is a reason and it's annoying and  frustrating but not of your control.  It will come, in it's time, don't give up.  You are hope. 

You write it every time you write on here. 

I have faith and hope in you Kell.  If your tired and disappointed at times then I will write what you forget to think about and it is your words and your actions that came out of your mouth to remind you of what you do/did/done.  That is nothing to get depressed about.  I am proud of you Kell. You have taken on so much and you have not failed, just time, being cruel and slow.

And I swear there are reasons why it is so slow sometimes..

Although I thought I was running out of time and it was so slow (felt cruel) there was a reason, even though I had sunk into depression and thought nothing was going right and would get worse and maybe too late and no matter what I did or where I went it never seemed to resolve itself and I felt stuck and lost hope and didn't even want to get out of bed.

This was with my S Kell and you know what the timing (the cruelty of it)  was meant to be.  It actually was supposed to be that way although I felt different at the time (of time going by) and it really needed to be because if the timing was not just right and where it was supposed to be and long and drawn out (feeling cruel and never ending) I think that jumping and rushing time could have killed my son.  So time is important let it come to you and it will when it's meant to be.. It can be right away or awhile.

So don't put so much of yourself on time.  It will come.

Enjoy yourself with your Dad now Kelly. Talk about anything, everything or just sit there.  And take care of yourself too.

Thinking of you.

Love
Deb







 

Gaining Strength

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Re: I think I am slipping into depression
« Reply #14 on: May 03, 2008, 06:23:09 PM »
I feel depressed just reading your post Kelly.  I'm sorry you are feeling down.  I just love the twist Debkor puts on it.  It helps so much to shift the perspective.  Here on this one thread you have support and empathy for where you are and then you have encouragement to find a shift to lift you back up.  A complete package - I hope it is your size.  Love to you,

Gaining Strength