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Ellie:
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Anonymous:
Hi Ellie,

I'm glad to hear that you are taking steps with your H to enjoy life after kids and after N exposure.


--- Quote ---H says Nmom is trying to make herself feel good, thinking she had done the noble thing by sending a card. But the reality is they absolutely hate us.
--- End quote ---


You're both right, you know.  She sent you a card so she doesn't have to feel guilty.  Good for you for seeing through all of it.  Peace, Seeker

Moonflower:
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flower:
Ellie,

I read what I call my mom's last letter the other day. I had to see what she was up to....not again.....

Into the shredder, woodstove, garbage can is where my mom's card's, letters etc. are going....unopened. I don't need her lies in my life.

Anonymous:
It is frustrating when N parents who are so raging and hateful won't go away. I often wondered why my mother kept expecting to see me when she seemed so angry with me. My adult life's motto has been: "I wish people would just leave me alone."

My mother is nowhere near as bad as yours but the principle is the same. They appear angry, enraged, hating, but don't go away and leave us alone. They're persistent and relentless.

I have two explanations:

(1) No boundaries. They have to intrude into people's lives.

(2) Splitting. They can act out outrageously, then "forget" they did it and act like nothing happened. They expect us to do the same type of splitting and have amnesia about their behavior.

bunny

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