Author Topic: My Mother  (Read 23661 times)

Ami

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #15 on: May 15, 2008, 10:17:41 AM »
Thank you, Bones!!
It really damaged me ,even though it was not "overt". I did not face how it made me feel "bad" to the core b/c only a "horrible' person would be treated so worthlessly by their own M, was my "childish" thinking.   Thanks again, Bones.   Love  Ami

(((((Bones)))))
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

seasons

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #16 on: May 15, 2008, 10:20:33 AM »
Ami,

I would be more than comfortable to share more with you.

I need to do some errands I will be back soon. love seasons
"Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak Kindly. Leave the Rest to God."
Maya Angelou

sKePTiKal

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #17 on: May 15, 2008, 01:34:03 PM »
Em's right - if you can find your way to forgive yourself for not seeing what your M was doing - for what it was - and realize you had no way to defend yourself from this: BACK THEN...

you'll find the place in you, where you can defend yourself NOW and BELIEVE that the shame belongs to her; not you...
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Overcomer

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #18 on: May 15, 2008, 05:04:33 PM »
Am-this is emotional sexual abuse.  I think these people do not know or believe that what they are doing is abuse.  It reminds me of SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY where he says "You cannot think I enjoy that" and Julia Roberts says "no that would make you a monster!"  I think these people rationalize their sick and twisted lies so they do not have to live with the evil that they are or they project all their venom on us so they can sleep at night.
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Ami

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #19 on: May 15, 2008, 05:10:56 PM »
That is not the worst of it. I figured out what else happened. I will hide it here,in the middle of the thread. She molested me. That is why I have been so screwed up. That is the missing piece of my life. I never knew what was wrong with me, why I was so fearful, why I let myself be abused all these years. NOW, I know, I was actually molested, not just words.
 My own mother molested me.
 
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Ami

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #20 on: May 15, 2008, 05:38:18 PM »
You are the best, Leah. Thank you. At least  I have a context for why and how I got so screwed up. It makes 'sense". My life makes sense ,in a way it never did.
  Love you, Leah       Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Overcomer

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #21 on: May 15, 2008, 05:48:08 PM »
Did you just remember?
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Ami

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #22 on: May 15, 2008, 05:54:10 PM »
Dear Kelly,
 I was in a safe enough environment and I started crying and I just "saw" what happened . It had been buried with NO awareness, at all, none. I experienced it,as I did as a kid.
 My M is the grossest thing in the world, Kelly. I feel gross, too.     Ami
 
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Leah

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #23 on: May 15, 2008, 06:46:03 PM »
Ami,

I do apologize, I was in 'modify' mode and somehow managed to clip a key and delete my post.  So I have re-written it to post again as follows:



I am wondering why a Mother would do this to her daughter, children -- emotional sexual abuse and/or covert (subtle) sexual abuse?   Disordered person?   Or the taboo 'evil' ?

     "It also involves parents or caretakers having to know about every detail of one's private sexual life, asking questions about a child's sexual physiology or questioning for minute details about dates. Covert sexual abuse involves not receiving adequate sexual information".

     "It also involves parents using sexualized language for titilation and gratification.  In particular, the shocked expression of the young person."

     
Personally, I am wondering, if a Mother engages in such a manner with her daughter, children -- for personal pleasure, as apparently some people gain pleasure by engaging in such a way.

Nonetheless,

the Shame belongs to the Mother -- the perpetrator, the abuser.


(((( Ami )))) Let the shame go - back to your Mother.   Release all shame and toxicity back to the origin - to your Mother.  She owns the shame, not you.

Love, Leah


Ami,   as I mentioned, I could not comprehend fully due to lack of an awareness or understanding, and so I searched for the above information, however, also, in addition, I have come across the following website:

http://www.kalimunro.com/article_sexual_abuse_by_mothers.html A Painful Topic.    This may be of use, or may not, just "compost" as necessary.



« Last Edit: May 15, 2008, 07:15:42 PM by LeahsRainbow »
Jun 2006 voiceless seeking

April 2008 - "The Gaslight Effect" How to Spot & Survive by Dr. Robin Stern - freedom of understanding!

The Truth About Abuse VIDEO

Juno

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #24 on: May 15, 2008, 07:52:44 PM »
I'm so sorry, Ami.  This must be very hard.  I'm glad you have this place to put it out there.  ((((Ami))))

Overcomer

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #25 on: May 15, 2008, 08:03:23 PM »
Well Am I am afraid of something similar-I know something is wrong but I cannot remember.  I want to know what you did to remember-and what did she do to you?  I mean I do not wyou graphic details but I would like to know if it was done under the premise of innocence or was it just blatant hush hush abuse.
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Gabben

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #26 on: May 15, 2008, 08:23:26 PM »
I see it a little more clearly, cukoo, and I blamed me.Thanks again , so much, for your post, GS

Ami,

That self-blame is a defense mechanism against the pain. As children it is too painful for us, and too life threatening, to face the reality that our caregivers are "cucko" as you say. We need to protect ourselves into a fantasy or idealization of our parents as being all good in order for us to feel all safe. But when that parent is doing that which violates our natural instincts, our intuitive sense of what is right or wrong, we need to shield ourselves.

The pain of what our parents did to us was too much for our little child inside to handle. Therefore, blaming ourselves is a relief seeking device to take the edge off of the raw hurt from our parents actions. We bury that pain we bury that self-blame we bury that anger until a time comes in our life when we feel finally safe enough to feel it.

The way out is through. One thing I have found is that if I can go south....into my heart and stay there without thoughts of seeking relief, the pain dissolves along with the voice of shame, the critical voice and my fiesty spirit.

Lise

Ami

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #27 on: May 15, 2008, 09:46:11 PM »
Dear Kelly
 Maybe tomorrow, I will write details. I have been considering doing it for myself, for others, for the truth and b/c this stuff DOES happen and the truth will set us free.
 I am too tired ,tonight ,to deal with it,but I will come back tomorow and revisit it.  Love   Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Ami

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #28 on: May 15, 2008, 09:51:45 PM »
 I will come back,tomorrow and thank ,personally my precious friends  who took the time and gave me so much love  on this thread.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart .  Love   Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

seasons

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Re: My Mother
« Reply #29 on: May 15, 2008, 10:21:44 PM »

Dear Ami,

I am so sorry. Please rest tonight in peace, let God wrap his arms around you and take care of you, sleep in his safe arms and the rest will come in due time.

Love and care about you so very much. ((Ami)) seasons
"Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak Kindly. Leave the Rest to God."
Maya Angelou