Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
fear
Anonymous:
--- Quote from: Somebody ---No, it's not a bit silly.
But it is a bit of a waste of time.
--- End quote ---
In case you're wondering how you might have set the poster off, describing her flashbacks as "a bit of a waste of time" is dismissive and critical. Maybe you are unaware of how to effectively approach people with your ideas. I would advise not using the phrase "waste of time" to describe anyone's experience. It could be used to describe their actions in trying to control an N parent, but not their experience. The minute most people hear "waste of time" they feel dismissed and put down.
--- Quote from: Somebody ---Why don't you try worrying about winning millions of dollars and what the heck you're going to do with all of that money when you get your paws on it??
--- End quote ---
If you want to suggest "cognitive-behavioral techniques" you have to validate the person's experience first. You failed to do that, hence this comes across as patronizing.
--- Quote from: Somebody ---Who cares what's in there? There's probably stuff in there that was just as good-- as this bad idea is bad, right? Look for that stuff and quit focussing on all the crap.
Why do I say such a thing? It works.
There's no need to drill deep down into our unconscious mind and retrieve each and every bit of rotten information that may be buried there.
Just as there is no need to go to the grave yard and dig up bones.
What the heck for?
--- End quote ---
This is dismissing her experience entirely, and telling her that it's not valuable and "who cares." I would not take this approach as it is a major turn-off to hearing your cognitive-behavioral suggestion.
bunny
Somebody:
Thanks Bunny. Points taken without resentment. Now to squish that into the one little brain cell of mine that is still operating and keep it at the forefront for future recall!
Hope today is a great one for you!
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[*] Previous page
Go to full version