Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
T'day's Thoughts eh?
Somebody:
Good day to ya P:
The blue text is to draw specific attention to that post in hopes it will not be missed. Also, so that I will be able to locate it, at a later date, if necessary.
I did post to the ramble thread yesterday. To CG and I corrected the idea that the post beginning: Hiya CG was not posted by me.
I do intend to only post here, on this thread, as outlined in the blue post above.
I'm not sure how you will know it's me except that I will hope you will note that I do not post with malice, and if you sence that, it is probably not me posting. Also, any posts with my name on, on any other thread, are not mine. The post and destroy game is a tough one to win at, isn't it?
This is just my idea of how to reduce the imposter-syndrome to a minimum (have I left out an "n" in that word? Boys I wish I could spell- I can't tell when I spell stuff correctly or not. I should stop complaining and start looking things up, except I just can't be bothered and I have a lot more fun trying to guess at it anyhow and it gives me something to really whine about).
Post to me where ever. If I see it, I'll reply here. If not, I guess not.
Feel free to post here. It's free space. I like it here in this thread and welcome you and all.
Anyway, don't get too worked up about it. I'm not. I'm just trying to come up with a way to at least-reduce the problem. Maybe it won't work.
Maybe it will give more satisfaction to the mpper(s) to achieve such a confining-me-to-one-place-on-this-board objective. I don't know. I don't particularly care. I'm having a wonderful day, regardless!
Hope you are too P!
Somebody:
Hi again P:
I read your post on ramble. I feel so sad for the way your mother has treated you, for the effect it has had, and for whatever drives her to behave that way.
You said your love is mostly compassion now, I think that's what you said.
Compassion is good. Nothing wrong with compassion.
I try never to say never (when I remember to say that) though P. Who knows what will happen?
I understand that the hurt she has caused is very deep, very difficult to forget (if that's what we do with hurt??), and very debilitating.
(No insult meant, please don't take it that way).
Hurt debilitates us when it occurs. Seems to stop us from being all that we can be and enjoying that and all else. I try to remember that I can focus on it (the hurt) or choose otherwise. Often this helps me an awful lot.
I know that debilitating hurt is though P, really I do. I'm trying not to focus on it myself (not a hurt caused by my mother's behaviour-but other people's).
It's the same thing, I think. A huge hurt is a huge hurt is a huge hurt.
Whether it is your mother or any other person you invest your deepest emotions in (what a word that cathecting is eh? Never thought of investing emotion-as in getting a good return for the investment--before), your trust in, your deepest understand and most generous you in, your hopes for sharing great joy with--- in---, no matter who takes a chunk of all that and ruins it, it all adds up to the same general result. Debilitating (for no specific amount of time) hurt.
From that P, I wish you great success in healing. For all who have that, are living with that, and being debilitated by that, I wish the same thing, if that's what it feels like to you.
As to the "fags". Gave 'um up myself this past March 1/04. Smoked for many, many years. Very addicted. Very aware of my addiction. Decided this spring that I will recover from the addiction and if I decide to dive into it again, I will do so when I'm 96. I tell myself that when I really want a smoke. I can start smoking again on my 96th birthday, if I want to, but I've decided to wait until then to start up again. What the heck! I can really live it up if I live that long!!! As a matter of fact, I might start shooting pool (as long as I get my eye glasses in order, that is) and I might get into having things tucked and transplanted (as in tummy tucking and hair transplants)!! Might be a real blast!!! I can hardly wait!!
Thanks for noticing my exclamations marks P. I haven't noticed them before. People are funny aren't they? Getting kicks from stuff like pretending identities? Wonder what people like that do for real excitement? I hope my optomatrist doesn't turn out to be like that!! Oh no, not another bout of that------paranoia-----again.
Naw, I've got to go live now. Can't be bothered worrying about silly stuff.
Won't be posting again today. Hope your's and all's (even you identity faker(s)'s day-- is truly enjoyable.
Anonymous:
Dear Somebody,
Your posts sound incredibly self-absorbed. I have read posts (before all the poster identity confusion) in which your language is that of self-righteous, you-shouldn't-feel-that-way, I'm only trying to help, oh sorry! tone that lacks the ability to take responsibility for one's decisions and actions.
Don't worry I won't come back to post more either. I've had it with the few people who show up and try to turn this board into a billboard of I'm here now, everybody, look at me. I hope you are seeing a therapist to hehlp you get to the bottom of your self-justified behavior.
This is NOT portia, bunny, phoenix, etc. Just someone who can read the verbal strangling of healing language. Get over yourself. You wanted attention, you got some.
Anonymous:
Exactly my thoughts Guest.
Somebody:
Dear Guests who posted above:
I could tell you what you're full of but I'm not going to do that.
(and that...is a healty thing to do, when people insult you in a rude,
disrespectful and accusatory fashion: give it right back. That's
not "mirroring" to manipulate, but rather, standing up for oneself,
which is indeed a healthy thing to do in such a case).
Before you blow a gasket, think of this:
Why do you feel so threatened by my posts?
If you don't like them, why do you read them?
And what can you offer here that is helpful to others?
Please, tell us what helps you through hurtful experiences?
What helps you to feel better?
What good thoughts can you offer?
Tell us a cute, warm, funny, touching, interesting,
or whatever meaningful, somewhat entertaining story, please?
Some may just need a distraction for a bit, to gather a little serenity.
I don't have any major problem with my self-esteem for a
number of reasons. Here are a few:
a) I recognized I had a problem with low self-esteem, at a very
young age, and made changes, took steps, worked at improving it.
b) My work has helped me to learn to be assertive and
confident in what I do, and that has been reflected in my life.
c) I'm too bull-headed to be really unhappy for a long time. That's my choice.
If you judge that to be n'ish, that's your opinion but that doesn't
make your opinion true. I judge it to be a good result from a good
effort and also, to be one some here may be trying to achieve. My opinion.
I take your post to be critical and controlling, both of which are
not nice behaviours. I could add much to that opinion but I have
no desire to hurt your feelings. I'd rather put a smile on your
face. That's what I like to do, put smiles on faces, when possible
because I like people and I don't like to see them suffer.
I don't know what works for everyone, only what has helped me
and a few others.
So, Guests, I invite you back when you feel in better moods and
more inclined to show us your good sides (thanks for teaching
me to word it that way CG).
If not, I understand.
It's not easy to get out of negative-mode sometimes.
I've been there too. I'm not discounting anyone's feelings or
saying in any way, that anyone "should" feel, or not feel, anything.
I'm offering what has helped me and hoping others will offer
what has helped them, so that in the end, we may all benefit.
But there is a need to be open to that idea in order for it to have a
positive effect.
If that is not something you are interested in, then by all means,
do not bother. That'll be your choice then, as you wish.
As to my seeking attention-------that's false.
It seems by making such nasty statements and allegations, you make it clear what you are seeking, and it is not to help anyone.
My hope is that your attitude will improve and that you will decide to be nice, rather than try to cause injury to anyone but ofcourse, that's your choice too.
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