Victim mentality

[Gabben]

I am amazed how well she keeps her sanity in the chaos and craziness that Lighter is always behind.        

FYI -- Did it ever occur to you that the sanity that Leah is so good at is a mask??

Wake up Bill.....I used to respect you, but now I realize that you are just as lost as Ami is in this reality.

What amazes me is how for so long I have stood up for Ami on this board. Now, she turns on me the minute she see's an opening for her own self interests.

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi everybody,

This thread will be locked around 10 p.m. EST., so everybody should have their last say before then.  If anyone wants "no-contact" with another member, please make that clear.  Lighter--if you want to restart your original thread in a new topic, please feel free.

Best,

Richard

[Gabben]

Ami,

I stood up for you soooooooooooooo many times, I have been a loyal friend to you, over and over again. I have done so out of principal and what I saw was truth. How is it that you can turn on someone who has defended you and saved your back so many times so easliy...that is really sad. Your actions are without principal.

Just because I have issues with Leah do not have anything to do with how I percieve Lighter and the situation between you two.

But, you saw an opening, you figured that it does not look good for you to be getting along with Leah and for Carolyn, myself and Lighter to all be against Leah. So, you had to drag Bill into it to make me look bad to save yourself. 


You have only one principal and that is to yourself and your own needs.

It is rare for me to end a freindship. With you, in the past few months, I have been in tolerance....now I am finally in relief to cut ties and I do not feel ashamed at all to have been your firend...it is just that I bet many here can see how I have been loyal to you and you have turned on me without even a shred of regret or shame.

Lise

[Gabben]

Ami,

Please do not send me anymore PM's. I will ask Dr. Grossman to block you, if possible.

I am done communicating with you.

This betrayal from you was the final blow for me.

Lise

[Leah]

Dear Wiltay,

I don't know who you are in real life, however, I do know in real life that no man has ever stood up with such boldness and spoke up for me,

- not my brother, not my exhusband, not my father - they never spoke up for me at all.   

So, your words are precious to me as a person in real life, and so I won't allow for such pearls moistened by my tears of gratitude to be trampled underfoot by anyone.

Those words belong to me, Leah, as genuine person in real life.

May God Bless you and make himself known to you personally, is my prayer of thanksgiving.

Love, Leah

[Gabben]

Your anger, like any pain, will pass. If someone punches you, he is to blame for your pain, not you. By the same token, the one to blame for your anger is your abuser, not you.

wow, this tooks the words right out of my mouth....

[Izzy_*now*]

I finally read this thread, from beginning to end........except.....
.....I don't read posts that are copied and pasted from some professional's site. I might have done that myself, in the past, but I find that I don't learn anything more about the poster from such a post. I prefer a poster's own words about herself. I think that that way I can learn more about the person.

The dialogue between Leah and Carolyn, I felt, was done 'well', without anger, just boundaries.

I'm saying this at the end, and it is somewhat what lighter said.... that L. & C. were being well behaved.

I would have preferred that lighter not be chastised on her own thread., but that could have been me.

I was some surprised to suddenly see Gabben arrive on the scene , then the dialogue between her and Ami. That used to be a case of my noticing that Lise followed Ami around the board and supported her. ...opposite to Leah following Carolyn or vise versa (re double post)

Wiltay, on the other hand, was more of a surprise! I often wonder how many times a member PMs another to QUICK!!!!!! get to such-and-such a post and support me!

If anyone is following where my loyaties are, one might think I am against Ami. I am not against her, as a person. She has many mountains to climb. I just hate reading the way she types her posts. There I said it. A comma after the wrong words, lol is out-of date, and there are no spaces between words at times with "too" "many" "quotes" The style does not make me feel I am 'talking with' a human being who attended University.

So my mentality is saying that I prefer better typing, and I do not read Copied and Pasted posts. I would prefer the link, followed by the poster's own opinion.

There is absolutely no offence intended in my post but I have said it now and hope it is understood that it is a part of me, and doesn't have to be a part of anyone else.

We all know many times it is not the person but the behaviour/habits

Iz

[Leah]

Your anger, like any pain, will pass. If someone punches you, he is to blame for your pain, not you. By the same token, the one to blame for your anger is your abuser, not you.

wow, this tooks the words right out of my mouth....

Where is the integrity?  here on the board.

When the very person who declared that LeahsRainbow was forbidden from posting onto Gabbens threads (after posting in error to Darren - as LeahsRainbow had NOT posted or engaged with Gabben due to her own personal choice and boundary ) can just go and blatantly ignore what the owner of the board, Dr Richard Grossman posted in addressing Gabben (on LeahsRainbow's thread) that Gabben should not post on LeahsRainbow's thread, the directive being fair and reasonable.

So, Gabben purposely takes a quote from LeahsRainbow and posts it here on this thread with a message of some kind, I won't opinionate.


This deliberate action can only speak for itself and evident lack of integrity.

Leah

[Leah]

Dear Izzy,

I created a thread once, remember, entitled "Envy" and we discussed that.

I also created a thread with a listing of my postings to show that I had posted prior to any that Gabben had.

Now, also, there is an internet with a vast array of articles and information, and it is more than likely that more than one person is reading them and applying them to a given situation.

I have never ever followed anyone round the board.

Trust you will allow my voice of clarification in this absurd matter which has gone on for much too long now.

Yours impartially,

and independently

Love, Leah

[wiltay]

Lise, I honestly didn't mean to hurt you, but I saw a truth that needed to be told in the midst of the lies being told about Leah. .  I DO believe you were greatly harmed by a saintly N but Leah is NOT a saintly N, whatever you may imagine.  IMO, you are attacking her because of the distortions brought about by your own pain. I believe strongly that what you say about Leah is not true and that it constitutes an abuse to promote hurtful lies against her. It seems to me that you are allowing the evil done to you to grow in your own heart.

Dear Bill,

Perhaps if you were not having an affair with Ami, a married woman, your vision of reality would not be so skewed.

You ARE wrong about Leah.....one day the truth will be known.

But, until then...Ami....I am NOT your friend...You can have your N's and P's and your skewed view of reality -- this time you have gone too far in your vendetta with Lighter as to use me as a pawn because of my conflict with Leah.

Friendship over............that is a boundary for me.


Lise

[lighter]

::wondering off the thread.... speechless::

[Gabben]

Where is the integrity?  here on the board.

Speak for yourself...

When the very person who declared that LeahsRainbow was forbidden from posting onto Gabbens threads can just go and blatantly ignore what the owner of the board, Dr Richard Grossman posted in addressing Gabben (on LeahsRainbow's thread) that Gabben should not post on LeahsRainbow's thread, the directive being fair and reasonable.

Am I an object, Leah?

Leah,

What I requested was that you do not post on my threads.

What I have done here is taken a piece of an article, not written by you and not on your thread, but on a post.

There are the facts...very clear and miles away from your smear.

[Ami]

Dear Lise
 Since I can't PM you, I will tell you, here, that I would never do ANYTHING  to hurt you. I appreciate every single time you were on my side, many times you were the only one.I have been in very difficult situations and you had courage and conviction and expressed them, on my behalf.You were selfless in  your  loyalty to me , your friend.
  I do not agree with how you view Leah, but I can still love you, and her, too. You may not see that as possible, but I do. I wish you everything good, Lise, everything that life has to offer.
My heart is open to you if you should ever change your mind about me. If not,with  sadness ,I  respect your wishes.  Ami
 

[Leah]

 Re: alone, please read: Exploring Victim Mentality
« Reply #67 on: June 09, 2008, 11:41:28 PM »  

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Quote from: LeahsRainbow on June 07, 2008, 05:43:54 PM

Your anger, like any pain, will pass. If someone punches you, he is to blame for your pain, not you. By the same token, the one to blame for your anger is your abuser, not you.




wow, this tooks the words right out of my mouth....

 
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You know quite well, deep within you, that there



 What I have done here is taken a piece of an article, not written by you and not on your thread, but on a post.


Gabben,   

You say that it is not on my thread, well how come it clearly displays    Quote from: LeahsRainbow on June 07, 2008, 05:43:54 PM

Leah

[Gabben]

"IMO, you are attacking her because of the distortions brought about by your own pain."

Bill,


Please do not psychoanalyze me.

Bill, if you really wanted to...if you really, really, really wanted to...all you have to do to figure out the truth about Leah is check your gut, the truth us right there.


FYI -- you have not hurt me...

I love the truth and seeing someone like you, who I very much thought had it together, yet is lost in denial is what hurts.

Lise