Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Absence/Distancing/Withholding Love
Cathi:
CC:
Who is the author of the book, Prisoner of Childhood? I couldn't find it in the library index.
Thanks.
Cathi
CC:
Cathi,
I'm sorry, I failed to type the entire name in the post about Books below.. It is called "Prisoners of Childhood: the Drama of the Gifted Child and the Search for the True Self" by Alice Miller.
This book literally had me with my mouth agape, it was what brought forth my understanding of what my mother (and now sister) was all about. Though written more for the psych professional than the patient, for me this was even more convincing: it made it some how more REAL for me that it was an actual condition and not some made-up diagnosis from a pop-psychologist. I cried and cried, and felt incredible relief that I wasn't crazy after all.
I hope you are able to find it at your library, but if not, here is the link from Amazon (cut and paste this and put it in your address bar):
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0465062873/qid=1063590414/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-4779101-9890240?v=glance&s=books
If you end up reading it, please let me know what your thoughts were.
Peace, CC
Cathi:
CC:
Thanks for the information about the book. I'll definitely let you know what I think after reading it.
Cathi
Anonymous:
Wow! What a site! Miss Cindy sent me a link and I am in awe at the healing going on here. Congratulations to all of you!
My mom was/is (I dunno) an N mom. I heard everything from "what do you think, I work for you?" to worse, most of which were projections of herself. She had this habit of cutting her family off whenever she got angry with them and holds grudges to this day against people who still have no idea why she stopped talking to them. She and my uncle (her brother) have been doing this all their lives it seems. They're under the impression that they can say and do what they want about anyone, cut them off and roll back into their lives with no apology or acknowledgement of what they have done....leaving us with a lot of unfinished business and resentment.
I grew tired of it about 3 years ago. I figured if someone who is supposed to be family can trash me behind my back and act like they can do without me, then they will do without me. I have a son that I would never do that to and he has already seen it with his dad (oh yeah, I managed to land some real winners in the dating department, all exactly like my mom). I don't want him thinking it is normal to betray family. Thankfully he is learning that, albeit the hard way with his dad and the examples from my family, but he is truly on his way to being a gem of a human being.
My mom and I reconciled last year, she has changed a great deal but she never acknowledged anything. She seems more at ease and not quite as bitter, though she still has her moments, she just doesn't have them with me.
Cassie:
That's my post above, by the way....lol!
Cassie
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