Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Was My Ex-Fiance a Narcissist?

<< < (3/3)

phoenix:
bye

Just Wondering:
Hi Onyx and Guest,

It's been 3 months since I've seen or heard from my ex. And the relationship was only 3 months long to begin with. (And yes, Guest, he committed WAY WAY fast and I mistakenly thought it was VERY VERY romantic and mature and that we were simply both ready and knew what we wanted, etc...etc...).

So, if he doesn't re-emerge to attempt to torture me further, does that for sure mean he is not NPD?  Maybe, he realized I am too smart for that kind of treatment and I would expose him. He definitely has some level of narcissism. What he did makes so little sense.

Here I am, still thinking about him and trying to process what happened. And I get this sense that he hasn't given me a second thought. Could that really be? If so, THAT is really sick, considering how "close" we were. Is he really THAT shallow? I am over most of the pain, but my zest for life has not yet returned. I am feeling pretty subdued and not terribly motivated these days.

This is the first time I've ever participated in an Internet message board like this. Thanks for all of your inputs.

Wondering

nassim:
Hi Wondering,

I'm not trying to be mean here. But I was just wondering how you got attached so fast? I would think that apropo for someone younger but you stated you were 40. Again, I'm not trying to be hard on you. I just wanted to know how you could invest emotionally so heavily after only 1 month or so. Is there more to the story? You mentioned you met on-line. Was that a long relationship?

I'm sorry for your devastation. Sometimes thinking in practical terms after the fact makes you realize you haven't lost much (in terms of a quality relationship) and makes it easier to heal. At least that worked for me many years ago when I had a short but painful relationship.

Good luck in getting the answers you seek.

Nassim

Just Wondering:
Hi Nassim,

Your question is a good one. I think I got attached so fast because he appeared to have all the qualities I've been looking for for so long and we had so much in common and we were very attracted to one another. One of the big 'shortcuts to my heart' was the fact that he was a vegan. Not sure if you know that term, but less than one percent of the population fits that category. I too am vegan and it is my core value and to find someone that had all the things he had, plus this one, was HUGE. Finally, he was very good with words. I fell in love with all the things he said to me. They weren't just flattery. They were a well articulated and clear expression of why I was the one he'd waited for for many lifetimes. Plus, even though I've been in many relationships in my life, I have never been married. I thought my turn had finally come. So, that is why I fell for him. You can be sure I will never again let anything else go so fast again.

Thanks for your question. It helps me clarify it for myself.

Wondering

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[*] Previous page