Author Topic: Update on my Daughter  (Read 1687 times)

finding peace

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Update on my Daughter
« on: June 15, 2008, 02:45:25 PM »
My Daughter is fine today – I am slowly recovering.

(She had a 6 inch gash in her leg sewn up the other day - first time for stitches.) 

She was so scared….trembling and holding back tears (which really bothered me – trying so hard to be stoic but the silent tears kept slipping out, and she would duck her head and hide her face behind her hair as she quietly wiped her eyes, desperate that no one see her pain). 

She learned to do this at school – the kids would tease her for crying – how early the training starts.

Broke my heart.  I kept telling her it is ok to be scared and to cry – I hope she was able to hear me and will remember some day.

It is also very close to my F’s birthday and F-day was just around the corner – we buried him on his birthday.  Being back at the hospital at this time of year, the smells, the sounds reminded me so much of what occurred when he was dying – how the mask was ripped away and the true nature of who he was emerged.  It was not pretty – he threw food and drinks at us, told us he should have drowned us as pups, ripped devices out of his body, was so racist, sexist, and mean to the female nurses they refused to care for him so they only assigned male nurses to him, the screaming, the rages,….etc.,

I kept slipping back into the memories – at one point I became disoriented and thought I was at one of the hospitals he was in (never had PTSD go that far except after waking up from nightmares – very frightening - must have been the overall stress of the situation).  Must not have gone that deep because I realized what was happening and was able to pull myself back out – thanks Amber and James, I remembered your conversation, I remembered to focus on my breathing and touch something in the here and now (that is growth, have never been able to do that so quickly after a nightmare – I was so happy I was able to do that and am so grateful that you discussed this here.). 

They have a new ointment that they use to numb (thank god) so she did not have to get shots.  She was so scared – but the beautiful part, about 3 hours into the waiting (torture to be made to wait that long with that much terror), she said: 

Mom, I am going to try and make this an adventure.  I am scared now but it will be over soon.  I have to remember everything because I am going to have a great story to tell my friends. 

:cry: 

How beautiful is that.  A very traumatic experience, having the wherewithal to find something positive to hold onto; knowing that the pain would break and it would not last forever. How beautiful – and a child shall lead the way…..timely reminder. 

Deb:  definitely, defintely a boo boo present moment.

Peace
- Life is a journey not a destination

Certain Hope

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Re: Update on my Daughter
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2008, 02:48:50 PM »
(((((((Peace and daughter))))))   just wishing you both gentle recovery and loads of love.

I'm so sorry you both had to endure it all.

Love,
Carolyn

Overcomer

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Re: Update on my Daughter
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2008, 02:54:55 PM »
I remember the first stitches trauma................sometimes I think it is worse on us watching our children!!!  Love and peace to you both!!  Kelly
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Lupita

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Re: Update on my Daughter
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2008, 04:29:14 PM »
Finding Peace, I am so sorry that you had problems with your preciuos beloved daughter. I know, anything that happen to them is worse than if it happened to us. They are a piece of our flesh. It hurts.

What is a isx inch gash?

I am happy that hse is doing better.

What is sewn?

Thank you for the information, I want to pray more directly for your little D and to do that I need to know what exactly happened. besides I am intrigued. What happened to your precius D?

For us parents, they are part of us, they are our beloved, they are our precious. They are the most precius wonderful things in our lives.

God bless you.


changing

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Re: Update on my Daughter
« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2008, 06:25:05 PM »
Hello Peace-

Thank you for sharing your good news- glad to hear your little girl is doing well. Not only is your daughter's physical hurt better, but you are aware and sensitive to the attendant emotional hurts and needs she has, and see to them with love. What a sweet mommy you are - your daughter is a fortunate girl.

Wishing Love and Healing to You Both,

Changing


lighter

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Re: Update on my Daughter
« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2008, 08:01:50 PM »
What a brave little girl....

and so heartbreaking, you're right.

Holding back tears bc she learned to bc of shaming.

But she's got you modeling behavior and of course she rose up and met her challenge.

This will be one of many lessons that teach her what strong stuff she's made of.

Her comment: "mom I am going to try to make this an adventure...."

She got that from you: )

::nodding::

Lighter

Lupita

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Re: Update on my Daughter
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2008, 09:05:52 AM »
How is she doing today? How are you doing today?

Love to you.

Lupita

Certain Hope

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Re: Update on my Daughter
« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2008, 10:16:10 AM »
Dear Peace,

Thank you so much for keeping us updated. I was just thinking about you, too.

That procedure your little one got sounds like quite the ordeal, but the longgg wait -   just the thought makes me cringe.

I always have to wing it, too, Peace... having never received the sort of comfort and words of encouragement as a chilld.

This past school year, my son fell over a boy's backpack, while exiting the classroon. It was a backpack on wheels and the other boy was pulling it behind him, fast, as he raced down the hall. So my son hit the floor hard, face down, with no time to use arms to break the fall... and really cracked his brow-bone hard on the floor. Gigantic black eye.  He was shaken up, but when I got there to take him to the doc, already he was asking me -  "Mom, how come everybody keeps sayin, 'Wow, that's a good one!' ?"   hehe...  silly, but it did the trick. He had a new mystique for awhile... till the bruising disappeared... and I learned a bit more about how to make a scary, painful struggle into an adventure.
It's hard feeling so incompetent about stuff like that, though.

More hugs to you and daughter... I think that you're both exceedingly strong and brave.
And I hope you'll get your time off asap!

Love,
Carolyn

lighter

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Re: Update on my Daughter
« Reply #8 on: June 16, 2008, 05:21:03 PM »
::happily picturing FP enjoying her chosen family::

I like it...

Chosen.

Yes.

Lighter