Help me see clearly/give me a spine...

[ann3]

Kelly,

I think it's powerful that you envisioned yourself in the job and the job felt good & right.  I think visualization is listening to our gut.  And your main objective is to free yourself from NM, plus, you love fashion & can earn extra money from your other business.

Good luck,
ann

[Overcomer]

I envision myself thin with longer hair and sunglasses (designer) keeping them out of my eyes.  I have a Coach purse on my shoulder and have been awarded the best store in America Award!!  Wouldn't that be cool????

I ate a smoothie for breakfast and then went to dinner and had a soup and salad combo.  A couple of one point bars.  Pretty good day...

[Hopalong]

I never buy anything but I would buy cool sunglasses from you, Kel.

Maybe you could keep walking shoes under the counter and walk fast around the mall on your breaks? More help for your health, big self esteem boosts...

I see you getting HEALTHY. Which trumps everything.

You have to have your own goals...this new job will give you that. Proud of you!

love
Hops

[Overcomer]

Hops:  You would look cool in a pair of Jackie O type sunglasses!!  THanks for being proud of me.......that makes me smile.  I have my phone interview tomorrow morning at 8 am.....wish me luck and say a prayer............Kell

[Ami]

I will be waiting to hear, Kelly!       Sending blessings to you,     Ami

[Overcomer]

I had my phone interview and it went well, I think.  However, the pay is a lot less and it does not look like they are willing to bend much.  So we will see what happens.  Kelly

[Ami]

Thanks for sharing that, Kelly. You are in my thoughts. How is your H doing?                 Ami

[Overcomer]

Well, he told me that he was only going to drink on Fridays.............of course, that was Friday.  Then I went out of town on Saturday and when I got back he was drunk.  I asked him why and he said "because I felt like it."  More like YOU ARE AN ADDICT AND CANNOT NOT DRINK - YOU IDIOT!!

The District Manager is going to see the recruiter (who loved me) and they are going to talk about me.  Maybe they can get them to up the ante sort to speak.....

[cats paw]

Hi Kelly,

  Just wanted to send my best wishes that you will find what works for you.  As far as your H, are you able to be totally independent of him and his income, even while married ?  The reason I ask is looking to myself and my future, and detaching was the one thing that started making my (deceased) alcoholic H finally start to wake up.  I'm not saying it was easy, or it yielded the exact results I wanted, when I wanted them, but that was not my main objective. 

  Has he ever been in treatment?  I know you had talked about counseling before, do you two still consider it?

  I just know the pain of seeing what the drinking was doing to him, and to us, and to me, got too much for me to take, and that's when I started changing, whether he did or not. 

  Let us know how things go.

cats paw

[Overcomer]

I got home tonight and guess what - he was angry.  If he is not drunk he is angry.  I told him I was done!!!  I was so mad at him and he apologized.  I am so sick of him.  He will soon be gone.  He will continue to be an ass and I will snap.  I was close tonight.....

Counseling?  I would like to go.  He says yes sometimes but no more often.....

[cats paw]

  I made the appt for my H and myself, and he was po'd and reluctant, but he went.  Would that be something that you might try?

  As far as him being angry when he's not drunk, inside I'm sure he IS angry and strung out because he's not drunk.  Not that it makes it right, but it goes with the territory.

cat

[debkor]

Kelly,

Um Kell, you look like you have a spine to me... You just keep moving on...looking for that new job, going to do or don't do with hubby..boundaries being set.. get help.. or get going... ... you have strength... do you know this......

So much to deal with and you are... and I'm impressed.. seriously...you just keep looking and helping yourself.... I, I, I.... think you got excuse my language...*balls*....  in these crazy times...Move on with me or move out of the way Kelly!!!!  Your Motto!

Love
Deb

[Izzy_*now*]

Hi OC

Sit back and think about what it is you want! I suspect your answer is to be free of your mother, so that would be your goal.

How old is she and are you in her Will?  Do you inherit the business upon her demise? If so, would she disinherit you if you were to leave her and have No more Contact?

About spine. It's there! As far as I am concerned, women are far stronger than men when it comes to dealing with what is on this Board!

You can do it! Get away and life your own life and leave her to her own devices! If the business goes 'belly-up' it will be on her shoulders!

Hang in there kiddo
Izzy

[Overcomer]

Deb and Iz-Thank you for responding.  I may have a spine but I an still scared.  The District Manager said she would call me yesterday or today and I have heard nothing.  So I was up at 5 am Worrying.  My mom is 71 And has no interest in retiring.  She will not will me the business-it is worthless.  She will not disinherit me but will be really mad at me even though I told her I was going to find a job.  My H?  I told him I could not stand him last night!

[Ami]

It sounds tough, Kelly. *I* think you do a remarkable job, given your circumstances and stresses. I admire that, Kelly.          Sending thoughts of peace your way,   Ami