Excellent, Dandy. Thank you so much for sharing this!
If we're healthy psychologically, then we have the internal resources to self-validate: to admit to ourselves possible inadequacies without experiencing intolerable guilt or shame. But if, deep down, we still feel bad about who we are, our deficient sense of self simply won't be able to withstand such external threats.
The remedy in this case? Paradoxical as it may seem, anger--even though it destroys any true peace of mind or sense of well-being--can yet help us to soothe ourselves. For our anger potently serves to invalidate whoever or whatever led us to feel invalidated. In adamantly disconfirming the legitimacy of the menacing external force, we self-righteously proclaim the superiority of our own viewpoint. Thus is our critical need for emotional/mental security restored.
Yes, I recognize it... in myself and in others. When any opposition encountered is interpreted by the immature self as a menace, then even the slightest disagreement can be used an excuse to encourage this addictive form of anger. Trouble is... sometimes the "opposing force" is absolutely correct and needed!
If I miss the value of heeding the opposition, then I'll remain a child forever, obstinately defying anyone who might otherwise be able to help me mature and grow.
What a waste!
Again, excellent stuff. Thanks. This article is a keeper!
Carolyn