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I left him

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BlueTopaz:
Hi Guest3,

I used to frequent a forum that was for current partners/X-partners of those with narcissistic traits, or full blown NPD, and your experiences reflect the mass descriptions of things said & done by the other, in the relationship.


--- Quote ---
 "It is all about me. I am the priority here. Me, my daughter, my school and my career". I asked again where do I fit on that list. He said "Don't you get it?" and walked away.
--- End quote ---


On the other board there was a discussion about how N people will
come out and say the blunt truth.  

I remember that I was complimenting my X-partner once, and he said "I'm really a very mean person under it all".  I didn't know how to take it as it didn't fit with the situation, so I laughed uneasy and just thought it was an odd joke.   Unfortunately not, he was telling me the blunt truth.   His Nism made him very mean and hurtful (while playing dumb and projecting when called on it) in an emotionally manipulative way.

Your partner's comments reminded me of that. Sometimes one can be so shocked and not know how to react, so we might ignore it or rationalize it.  I did.  

One thing I've learned out of my former relationship with X-N, is that when someone tells me something about themselves outright like that, I will believe it right away.

Just like you, I saw warnings signs very early too (a couple of weeks after dating), and I stayed in  for 4+ years!   I'm really very glad you are out now.  

Wishing you the very best in healing, and moving forward...

BT

Onyx:
Bluetopaz

Bang on, I found exactly the same thing! Unbelievably things would just fall out of her mouth at the strangest of times! Not for one moment would she even get a whiff of what she meant by what she'd said! Truthful......oh and then some!

David

Guest3:
Thanks so much for all your support. I've had relationships end before that were painful for obvious reasons, but this one seems to hurt tenfold due to the fact that it seems like I wasted 2 years of my life. I genuinely invested in the betterment of his and his daughter's lives and the joke was on me. I know that time will eventually take the sting away, but it feels unbelievably painful right now. I had a feeling in my gut right from the beginning that something wasn't right and I kept ignoring it (while he assisted in the beginning of quashing it with all his attention and affection). I know now to go with your gut - not necessarily your heart. I appreciate everyone's thoughts.

switzerland:
Guest3,

YES!! GO with the gut instincts, always always!! Do not betray your soul.  It really does KNOW. These are the lessons that cost you 2 years.  Its ok, we have all been through it and we are better people for having gone through the painful experience.  There is light at the end of the tunnel.  Welcome here and Congratulations for getting out of the relationship.

Switzerland

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