Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > What Helps?
Nparent doesn't care to know about themselves
Stormchild:
Thanks Bunny. How awful.
You're absolutely on target about the rage, this N sounds like a walking land mine.
((Aunty))((Jen))
((Bunny))
Anonymous:
1. This mother does not love Jen, will not love Jen, cannot love Jen (and the order might be mixed up in that sentence, or is there any order possible?)
2. It hurts terribly to accept this but the sooner the better because love isn't going to be part of the picture.
3. The best thing Jen can do and Auntie, that you can do to help Jen, is to encourage her to love herself and think of her mother as unable to love, damaged, ill etc., deal with her pain, get on with her life.
4. And distance is the safest way to do that, at least for awhile.
Sorry you had such a horrible childhood Auntie and are suffering, watching a mini-replay?? through your sister's treatment of her own daughter. The best thing you can do for yourself is accept step 1 through 4 above.
Stormchild:
--- Quote from: Anonymous ---1. This mother does not love Jen, will not love Jen, cannot love Jen (and the order might be mixed up in that sentence, or is there any order possible?)
2. It hurts terribly to accept this but the sooner the better because love isn't going to be part of the picture.
3. The best thing Jen can do and Auntie, that you can do to help Jen, is to encourage her to love herself and think of her mother as unable to love, damaged, ill etc., deal with her pain, get on with her life.
4. And distance is the safest way to do that, at least for awhile.
Sorry you had such a horrible childhood Auntie and are suffering, watching a mini-replay?? through your sister's treatment of her own daughter. The best thing you can do for yourself is accept step 1 through 4 above.
--- End quote ---
Amen, amen, amen.
FlowerGirl:
My goodness, Aunty... what a nightmare. Jen is incredibly lucky to have you around - and furthermore, she is lucky that you have such a good understanding of what's going on - that is very rare. It is unfortunate that the reason you understand is your own tragic experiences with Ns.
I just wanted to add my "Good Job! You are doing the right thing!!!"
-FlowerGirl
katsy1t:
On behalf of all nieces everywhere - I would like to thank you Auntie for having such a powerful impact in your niece's life. Without you near, she would have no one to turn to.
I too have turned to my Auntie to get past some of the things my mom has done. She reassures me on what I need to do, how to get through things with my mom - and assures me that I'm not crazy!
My Auntie stands as the bridge between me and the most difficult person in my life. I'm sure you're the Auntie standing there keeping your niece alive and sane.
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