Thank you Izzi for sking. I will tell you everything about it.
Ami, thank you for your response. I agree with you that we have to think that we are great. That is difficult, you know that.
My dear CB123, you are so nice, I cannot believe that you are engaged to a Mexican. That sounds difficult mixture of cultures, but if you are overcoming that, you will do wonderfully. Thank you for your thoughtful, insightful response.
The date went wonderfuly. He was fun, nice, and respectful. We went clubbing and walk on the beach for hours, and had dinner too.
After he left, I was totally sad. Not understanding why I was sad and feeling so much shame. As if I had done something dirty. I did not do anything bad, but I felt like I did omsething bad. He turns me off everytime that he appears to be weak, when he whines, (he is a human being), when he says that he is getting tired of so much walk, (He is diabetic and overweight) when he says he cant do this or the other, and when he just does whatever I want. He is a human being. Intelligent, educated, he has a master degree, he is looking for a job here and he is retered after 30 years of work somewhere else. But when he feels shy and timid he totally turns me off. Is is not good looking, not even average, but I do not care about that. He is in some way wierd, but I am wierd too.
But, then, an outgoing, confidente, dominant man, which usually turns me on, is not good either.
I was parying the Lord to bing me a nice man with a education, and there he is and I am totally turned off by his kindness, and his weakness, and I do not even know why.
