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A conversation with N mom

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Nic:
Hi OnlyMe! :)

It is hard having a senior parent in the hospital, and ten times worse having a NMaman in the hospital.

You're certainly right about that one! :!:

But, please be careful, because sometimes when we feel that they are hearing and understanding us at last, they hit us with something from 'out of left field'.

Yes! you're right about that too!  All that is very familiar to me..it's the impact it has on me that has changed..which is the perfect indicator that i've changed.  I no longer expect my Nmother to "understand" me, simply because 1- she quite probably can't 2- has no interest in trying 3-it is no longer necessary.

"I am sitting here wishing a son would walk through that door - I always wanted a son instead, you know."

Ouch :!:  :x   Bet you wanted to slug her one right then and there...

They don't have the capacity to love us unconditionally, no matter what.

I know! :roll: Their version of conditional is Conditional and irony of ironies they don't even realize this! :?

I am just writing this, with a big wing out around you, trying to protect you from any more pain ... trying to help you by sharing what I have recently experienced.

Hey! and I appreciate that very much, make no mistake about it! :)


Please be careful with your heart while you are taking care of Maman this next while, okay?

Fear not!  Shields are up!  Take care and talk to you soon!

Kindest regards,
Nic :D

Anonymous:
Hello Nic and OnlyMe

Only Me, my take on your Nmom's comment about a son is simply to knock you down a peg for being able to do something kind (be there with your dad) which she couldn't do.  Sometimes these weirdos take an act of kindness as a reproach, because, as we all know, it's all about them.

Nic, it really sounds like you are on your way to holding onto your own truth from the inside out.  I'm getting there but not there yet.  My dad went into the hospital this weekend too.  Frankly, I went to see the whole scene with my own eyes and come to the conclusion that my dad wholly enjoys being a patient.  He finds the drama thrilling and seems almost disappointment when the doctors tell him in this case his body is going to heal on its own.  He asked question after question not out of anxiety but simply to keep Mr. Important Doctor in there for more supply.  It was sickening, in and of itself.  Then I feel like a heel because it really was serious for a while there, but it is his attitude and reaction that I find so anger-inducing.  He wants enough drama to get attention, but not so much that he is scared to death.  In the meantime, he tells us that he has written up his funeral plans and he is ready to die.  It is all SOoooooo manipulative.  Ugh.  We are all there for cameos in his drama.  If we don't contribute to the plot, we can leave.  We're always welcome for next week's episode of N-ER.  :roll:

Thanks for letting me vent on your thread.  Peace, Seeker

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